17.7 C
London
Friday, March 29, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldIslamic Hate Preacher Abu Hamza Takes Up Knitting in Prison

Islamic Hate Preacher Abu Hamza Takes Up Knitting in Prison

LONDON - England - Firebrand Islamic preacher, Abu Hamza has taken up knitting in prison.

buy squib book

Armed with his hook hands the crazed Islamic hate preacher Abu Hamza has turned his attentions from wishing death on all Westerners to cross-stitching and making colourful jumpers for the prison inmates as well as staff.

“He’s really good you know. Last week he made me a union jack jumper because it was getting rather nippy in my cell after the warden turned off the central heating. We call him Captain Hook, well he rustled an extra large sweater for me in less than a day,” said a chuffed National Front skinhead, Reggie Boots, 45, who is in prison for racial violence offences.

It seems that Hamza is the toast of the Protected Block where the VIP prisoners are kept.

“He also knitted for me a tea cozy so I can have a cuppa in me cell when I feel like it. He even made Jimmy Knuckles over here a woolly hat to keep his bonce warm during the cold winter days and nights. He’s a real godsend I tell you. He’s like a bloody machine he is, never seen anything like it. He made some of the boys carpets to put in their cells although one of the carpets had a picture of the twin towers up in flames. Still it’s better than the concrete floor innit?” Mr Boots added.

A selection of Abu Hamza knitted jumpers


Wardens for were at first cautious to the Islamic hate-preachers requests for woollen yarn and other knitting paraphernalia but once he knitted them all unique jumpers they were all too keen to let his hook hands do more sterling work for them.

“It’s the only way we can stop him spitting and clawing everything in sight. Just hand him some wool and he’s as happy as chips he is,” said one of the warders looking after the hate-preacher.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »