Stultorum infinitus est numerus
LONDON – England – Headed by unelected clown, Gordon Brown, G20 leaders admitted after the summit that the whole affair was an elaborate and unfunny April fools joke.
“You got to admit we fooled y’all huh? This was all a joke to see if everyone believed us about the ‘stimulus plan’. Our April Fool’s to you my friends and it fooled everyone. We’re all actually broke. No money. Nada. Stimulus plan? We can’t even rub two coins together. Trillion dollars? Yeah, maybe Zimbabwe dollars,” the president of the United States of America, Barack Obama told the worlds press whilst chuckling like a Pan troglodyte.
The world’s biggest April Fools joke was recorded in London at the 2009 G20 Summit by representatives of the Guinness Book of World Records.
The unelected British prime minister also added his two cents: “A trillion of nothing is a trillion more then a trillion of nothing and a load of zeroes adding up to nothing. You see where we are coming from? We will introduce a trillion of nothing into a trillion of nothing and this will make….nothing. But in a new way of course. It’s a new trillion of nothing as opposed to the old stimulus package of a trillion of nothing as well.”
Recording officer Norris McFartur, was on hand to record the event and proclaim the G20 event as the biggest mass worldwide April Fool’s joke of all time.
“This event will fool billions of people worldwide into thinking there is any hope for them within the current system and hierarchy, when in fact nothing has actually changed at all. The greed will carry on and who do you think is going to pocket the $1 trillion package? Well you as the plebiscite are definitely not going to get a sniff of anything. In fact the joke is so immense that this makes Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme look like a squirt of p*ss from 10,000 f*cking feet. The joke is on the sheep and the G20 leaders have pulled off the biggest joke of all time,” Mr McFartur said.
The mass April Fool’s day G20 trickery also fooled the world’s press who actually attended press conferences on the day.
“Not only were the reporters and newspaper editors fooled but so were the protesters outside the event and in the city. This has been the biggest joke ever recorded and even exceeds that of George W Bush being made president,” Mr McFartur added.
The new April Fool’s G20 joke world record will be published in the Guinness Book of Records 2009 edition next week.