Cheney and Bush to Personally Oversee Shoe-Thrower Hero’s Torture

Muntadhir al-Zaidi's famous footwear is immortalized at an orphanage in Saddam Hussein's hometown of Tikrit, in the form of a giant copper shoe.

TEXAS – USA – The Iraqi journalist who hurled his shoes at George Bush, gaining instant hero status in much of the Arab world, has today been sentenced to three years torture at the hands of Cheney and Bush.

Muntazer al-Zaidi, 30, who worked for the al-Baghdadiya television channel, shouted “Long live Iraq” when the sentence was read out.

He is viewed by many in Iraq and the Arab world as a hero and already many shrines in his name have been built over the whole of Iraq.

Speaking of his shoe-throwing antics Zaidi said: “I am innocent. What I did was a natural response to the occupation.”

After the sentence was passed, the journalist was dragged out of the puppet court and beaten.

He will be flown immediately to Texas where George W Bush and Dick Cheney will take turns on the ‘fresh piece of meat’, a CIA source told Fox News.

According to the wives of Bush and Cheney, the two have been holed up in their private dungeons since retirement waiting for fresh deliveries eagerly.

Laura Bush told Larry King on Tuesday: “George has been itching to use those new mail-order electrodes and nipple clamps ever since he retired. He’s not used to the drought in fresh Arabs to perform his daily torture with. I’m so used to the screams of agony emanating from the basement while I do my knitting, but there has been nothing for the past couple of months since that boy, Obama got into office. This Iraqi shoe-thrower should keep him and Dick happy for the next three years.”

Things are very hard for retired war criminals these days.