Gordon Brown Lost Fake Eyeball at Start of Washington Visit

Senior aide Patti Hammond replaces Gordon Brown's lost eyeball with a lychee

WASHINGTON DC – USA – Gordon Brown nearly missed his appointment with American President Barack Obama when he lost his prosthetic eyeball during landing at Dulles International Airport, senior aides have revealed.

Near disaster was averted by a quick thinking Brown aide, who opened up a tin of on-board lychees and plonked one into Gordon Brown’s empty socket.

“The rough landing by the prime ministerial airplane caused a great deal of turbulence due to the snowy conditions and Mr Brown sadly lost his prosthetic eyeball when the plane touched down. Luckily we had some lychees on-board  and averted disaster by applying the lychee to Mr Brown’s socket,” John Sebastian, a senior parliamentary speechwriter, told the Evening KGB Standard.

Ministerial aides are still trying to find the lost eyeball and think it went under a seat somewhere and could have rolled around to the back of the plane.

Cleaners for the airplane during the Obama-Brown visit have been told not to use any vacuum cleaners and to report any eyeballs found.

No one in the American press or Obama contingent have yet noticed that the one-eyed Scot is going around with a lychee as a replacement for his prosthetic eyeball, but it may only be a matter of time.

“Unremarkable Relationship”

Mr Brown, who is keen to get away from troubles at home, has been beset by problems on his visit as well. After a lukewarm greeting from the Americans, there are now calls for unelected prime minister Brown to apologise to the British people for causing the biggest downturn and depression in economic history.

  • pissed off Pete

    what do you get when you cross a one eyed Scotsman with Gorden Brown? A lying BASTARD who fails to keep his word on not increasing fuel duty. and still a lying one eyed BASTARD for not helping the poor sods who have lost there jobs owing to this complete TWAT who could not run a bath never mind this country….

  • Lewis 3

    War’s are never over…they are just postponed until later dates..

    Brown better watch his back..

  • Yarwood

    I hope Brown ejoyed his gift from Obama a box set of DVD’s HA HAH AHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

    What an utter loser, if that’s not a message i don’t know what is?!?!?

  • roman?


    Afternoon tea ?
    You can tell your people to come to the Land of Opportunities, although we still need more monies !

    So many suckers, still !

    Our remarkable fiery rhetoric works !
    Thanks to Hitler experiment.

    Come to big brother, we have the ‘shield’ now.

    We will make others poor for easy control, while we will continue to eat steaks.

    With colonialism declining, global domination takes a new form…

  • Debtor

    Gorgon sold our gold reserves off at the bottom of the market. if he sold them now we would be one of the richest nations in Europe instead we’re the paupers next to eastern european countries like greece and albania.

  • hangman

    Surely Brown, Blair and Co should be in jail for massive failure, not flying around and meeting world leaders.

  • Brown’s a twat

    Surely the lychees must have been tinned as the fresh ones are all knobbly and red?

    Fruit based prosthetics is nothing new, Douglas Bader used two bananas as legs when he was in a German POW camp after leaving his tin ones in his plane when he was shot down.

  • hendy

    poor one-eyed bastard…he comes off so desperate to the Americans…his advisors need to tell him to not to suck up so much