Senior aide Patti Hammond replaces Gordon Brown's lost eyeball with a lychee
WASHINGTON DC – USA – Gordon Brown nearly missed his appointment with American President Barack Obama when he lost his prosthetic eyeball during landing at Dulles International Airport, senior aides have revealed.
Near disaster was averted by a quick thinking Brown aide, who opened up a tin of on-board lychees and plonked one into Gordon Brown’s empty socket.
“The rough landing by the prime ministerial airplane caused a great deal of turbulence due to the snowy conditions and Mr Brown sadly lost his prosthetic eyeball when the plane touched down. Luckily we had some lychees on-board and averted disaster by applying the lychee to Mr Brown’s socket,” John Sebastian, a senior parliamentary speechwriter, told the Evening KGB Standard.
Ministerial aides are still trying to find the lost eyeball and think it went under a seat somewhere and could have rolled around to the back of the plane.
Cleaners for the airplane during the Obama-Brown visit have been told not to use any vacuum cleaners and to report any eyeballs found.
No one in the American press or Obama contingent have yet noticed that the one-eyed Scot is going around with a lychee as a replacement for his prosthetic eyeball, but it may only be a matter of time.
Mr Brown, who is keen to get away from troubles at home, has been beset by problems on his visit as well. After a lukewarm greeting from the Americans, there are now calls for unelected prime minister Brown to apologise to the British people for causing the biggest downturn and depression in economic history.