Many Going Back to Church in Times of Recession

A gold cross like this can be sold for over £5,000 on the black market

LONDON – England – In these hard times of recession and unrest, many have been returning to the church, Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor says.

According to the Archbishop of Westminster, the economic downturn has brought many back to the church. “They’re coming back in droves. The unholy flock are returning. Alas, for the wrong reasons though,” Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor said. “In our church alone we’ve had 3 gold crosses, 6 silver collection plates and even the pipes from our organ removed — it’s happening all over the UK i’m afraid.”

Last week in the Cambridge parish of Reverend Felcher, church goers happily stripped the whole roof of all it’s metal sheeting and tiles leaving the church naked in the torrential rains and snows of late.

All over recession Britain, church goers have been returning to the church and taking what they like.

“We’ve never been so popular, albeit for the wrong reasons,” Arch Deacon, Lionel Paedo of St Fiddlers Church in Grimsby told the Church Times newspaper.