The Adventures of Prince Harry and the Pakis, Chinks and Wogs

Prince Harry poses proudly in his army uniform.

LONDON – England – Prince Harry is to be depicted in a new British Army recruitment book that will be released and published by Buckingham palace’s own printing press.

The Labour initiative spearheaded by the Schools Minister, Ed Balls will expound the benefits of ethnic bio-diversity and cultural homogeneity within the British army.

The Royal family commissioned the book as part of the government initiative and were persuaded to make the book as a recruiting aid for “ethnics” within the British army.

By Royal Appointment

“We commissioned the piece to show how the British army is a diverse ethnic friendly playground where pakis, wogs and chinks can all work side by side. We’ve even got a few dagos, frogs, wops, kikes, rag-heads, paddies and taffy sheep shaggers as well as scotch bastards, krauts and niggers,” Harry’s commanding officer and real father, Major James Hewitt told a news conference on Saturday.

In the new book, the friendly prince visits his army pals and shows his leadership skills by referring to a brown skinned recruit as his “little paki friend”. When he is greeted by a Chinese recruit he starts singing “ching chong ching chong” and goes around with his eyes closed mimicking a Chinese “slit eye”. As for black recruits they are referred to as “wogs or niggers” as is the tradition in the British army. But it’s okay because the prince refers to himself as the “lovable kraut” because of his half German lineage.

“The prince is rather affectionate towards ‘darkies’ because his mum was rather partial to sleeping with Pakistani surgeons and Egyptian film producers amongst many. It is only natural that he feels a certain tenderness towards ‘ethnics’. I mean growing up in a family with Prince Philip in it. Who wouldn’t?” Major Hewitt added.

The Adventures of Harry and the Pakis, Chinks and Wogs will be released on February 12th 2009 Published by Windsor Books.

  • Richard

    ‘How noble of Harry to accept Pakis, Chinks, & Wogs as mates. It appears he draws the line at Fags. ‘

    ..he went to Eton didn’t he?

  • Gordon, Warwick

    I know what you mean Wayne

    The other day I was watching the BBC news and could not believe my eyes—->an English lass was reading it. I nearly had to video it as a keepsake!!!

  • JAB

    How noble of Harry to accept Pakis, Chinks, & Wogs as mates. It appears he draws the line at Fags.

  • Wayne

    Pakis go home! That’s what we want I turn on the BBC news and that’s all i see!!!! Pakis!!! This is England not India?

  • Chapati boy

    If you have dark skin don’t join the army it’s quite simple really..problem solved.

  • Indra

    I’ve been called names like ‘dirty paki’ ‘little paki’ etc ever since I was at school. I still find it abusive but unfortunately this is the way thinks are in the UK. I am from India originally but it seems that does not matter we are all in the same boat. It is racial abuse because we are spoken to in a derogatory way. The prince Harry has let himself and the Royals down by racist comments, I know nothing will happen about it though because of the racist system in the uk .

  • Bill Hartley, Leeds

    I wonder how much Harry’s pals got paid by the NOTW?

    On the subject of Pakis, it is normal in the UK to call anyone who looks Asian a Paki. It doesn’t matter where you’re from I’ve even seen arabs being called Pakis and dark Portugese people. I guess it is out of ignornce.

    It’s just a bit of harmless fun.

  • Alan

    I don’t see the problem myself everyone in England calls people with brown skin Pakis but at home ofcourse. If your British your called a Brit.

  • Rick Fowler

    Looks like Harry no-mates got stiffed by his so-called Army buddies. It’ll all get brushed under the carpet soon enough though..