Tony Blair Volunteers to Take In 580 Refugees

KENSINGTON - England - Former prime minister, Tony Blair has volunteered to take over five hundred refugees from war torn Iraq and Syria his press office announced today.

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“I started this mess so I spoke to Cherie and we agreed to take in a substantial number of refugees. We own £45 million worth of property so we should put it to good use I suppose. I just don’t want these people to stain our Persian carpets or touch the wine cellar,” Tony Blair told the Independent.

Imagine going downstairs for breakfast and seeing Tony in his slippers slipping into the Chinese maid. It’s the stuff of nightmares, haven’t these refugees seen enough horrors?