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What Life Will Be Like Under Red Ed

LONDON - England - We asked a political insider about what life would be like in Britain under Red Ed's Labour leadership.

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“Firstly, Ed, much like any Soviet leader has a 5-year plan of collectivisation. What this means to the layman is that Red Ed takes any wealth accrued by hard working people, businesses and companies. The wealth is then re-distributed amongst the proletariat until no one has anything left.

“There will be directives from the state every few hours, new laws restricting civilian freedom and a hundredfold increase in surveillance.

“Unions, who pull Ed’s strings will pull even harder, and if you are unlucky enough to own a company and have not left Britain by the time he is elected, you will be punished severely for getting stranded in the headlights.

“Immigration will increase by 80% under Labour, as the doors are slammed open once again.

Britain's future under Miliband
Britain’s future under Miliband

“People do not learn, and this is why the people who vote Labour in time after time, are actually not very clever, because they are masochists, and enjoy being punished.

“The British economy will drop like a rock, one thing is certain under a Labour government, that state expenditure increases at an exponential rate until the coffers run dry. You only have to look at countries like Greece and Venezuela to see where their socialist paradises left them.

“The EU are rooting for Ed Miliband, because they know he will relinquish the pound sterling for the euro. This act in turn will bring forth terrible consequences for Britain and condemn it further into the debt black hole that makes up the communist EU.

“Red Ed wants to introduce the European model of housing, where home ownership is very low. Buy to Let properties will be phased out, and there will be movement towards increasing taxation on property ownership to such a high level that it will not be profitable. This action will also facilitate an 80% drop in house prices, making property nearly worthless overnight and more in line with mainland European systems.

“With the vast levels of unfettered immigration into the UK, the NHS will be a paradise for the newly arrived but a hell for anyone else. Eventually the cash from other people will dry up as most profitable companies would have left these sodden shores.

“Increases of taxation on fuel will be so large under Ed Miliband that most people will simply dump their vehicles.

“I have outlined a few of Ed’s proposals for the coming years, but the worst of the horrible nightmare will be hearing his awful nasal whining voice every few hours from all media. His voice and squashed vegetable nose face will haunt millions for years to come even after he has long gone, and the chaos he will reap will last for generations.”

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