Christmas Comes Early in Iraq This Year

Santa's coming to town

RAMADI – Iraq – Santa Claus delivered some early Christmas presents to some Iraqi children yesterday.

Specialist Meat Johnsons is giving out gifts to Iraqi children this year with great gusto. This is his third tour of duty and he is loving his time in Iraq.

“I get to shoot people for fun and get paid for that. Best job in the world, I tell ya.”

Meat then unloads several rounds into the mass of Iraqi children, and there are cheers all round from the platoon.

The ‘surge’ is working, and many Iraqis are being eradicated daily with US mass killing targets being breached every day. Senior level Pentagon planners are marveling at the efficiency and speed at which the civilians are being murdered in cold blood.

Medal of Honour

This month alone, 23 purple hearts were handed out in recognition of killing targets being met. George W Bush is happy to bring the gift of Christmas to the Iraqi people on the end of a gun barrel. His address this week to Congress was met with thunderous applause from both Republicans and Democrats alike.

“Every bullet is signed and delivered from the barrel of Jesus’ gun. This is what America does — we bring Jesus and Democracy to the Iraqis. I heard there are rumours on the internets that we are losing the war on terrors. This is false, because we are bringing terror to these people every day, and all under the American flag, dammit!”

Spreading the love of Jesus

Specialist Meat Johnsons carries on giving the gift of Christmas to the Iraqi children this year, just like he did last year.

He has also made it his personal mission to spread as much depleted uranium as possible before his tour ends in July 2008.

RAMADI – Iraq – Santa delivering some early Christmas gifts to Iraqi children

Winning the hearts and minds of the world is a US strategy that has truly been endorsed by the Americans.

Next stop is Iran, when the Americans bomb nuclear sites and spread radioactive dust over the whole Middle East, as well as create World War III.

Christmas has definitely come early this year.