Drunk tube train drivers have voted to strike and will do so in the pub, tube drivers and the RMT union has revealed.
Speaking from the Dog and Duck in Canning Town, Alf Trundle, a drunk tube train driver for thirty years spoke of his plight.
“Acshhhhually I’ve been drrrunk on the job for thirty long yearshhh. The ovver day some jobshworth comesh up ta me-e-e. The liile Hitler shaid I got the shack. I shaid to ‘im, if I’ve got the shack my mates will shtrike. Nah, fack off, I’ve got to get to Mornington Crescent for a top up.”
It is estimated that on any given day 75% of tube drivers are doing their jobs sozzled out of their minds.
The tube strike will last for as long as it takes to get the drunk train drivers re-instated and with new crates of whisky in stations.