Historian: Russell Brand Wouldn’t Last Five Minutes in the French Revolution


LONDON – England – Tricksters come in many shapes and forms, and now that celebrity Russell Brand has inadvertently revealed who he really is, maybe some of the people who he tricks may wake up from their hypnotic stupor.

Prominent Cambridge historian, Professor Arthur Millard, has made some astute comments about the so-called revolutionary, Russell Brand.

“The peasants would have come in the morning to Brand’s apartment, then taken the hypocrite to the Place de la Concorde where the crowds of people would be awaiting the arrival of this charlatan. He would then be hoisted up onto the guillotine scaffold and asked whether he wanted a hood or not during the execution. The drums would be beating as the execution by guillotine was about to commence. I think in Brand’s case, last words would not have been permitted, as the crowd would not want to be there for an additional six hours. Another rich hypocritical weasel’s head would thus drop into the basket with a dull thud. One of the executioners would then lift Brand’s dripping head up to the people.

“Now this is a real revolution, not a fake one like Russell Brand is espousing to sell his bookie wookie and make more money. If Brand was a real revolutionary, he would give his book away for free. Truth be told, old Russell would not have lasted five minutes during the French Revolution, or the Russian Revolution either. It does not matter what you say, or pretend to say, either you’re rich or not. Brand is rich, he has assimilated into the system and he has already signed the contract, it was his decision to do what he did, and he cannot back out of his avarice and greed whilst preaching otherwise, especially whilst trying to trick the people with his faux aspirations of ‘revolution’.

“The real revolution only sees two things, those who have, and those who do not. Brand is in the first category, he has an offshore scheme, he has accountants who specialise in special techniques, he is a fraud trying to sell books of waffly writing with no real merit at all. The supreme trickster, when caught doth protest too much, and Brand is that person. He has been emphatically caught out, even his hypnotised followers must at some point be thinking to themselves, why am I following this pied piper, this Rasputin? The answer is because when Brand speaks he tries to appeal to the common person, he speaks their common language, and his white powder fuelled words that come thick and fast mesmerise the easily fooled audience. If one analyses this trickster’s speech pattern one can hear the little words he emphasises at certain points in a very controlled way to bring forth his message, which always works wonders on the not too knowledgeable and weak of mind, especially when selling the product he is selling at that particular time.”

  • Hamish MacColl

    Lebouche et M Arthur Millard sont un peu stupide je pense. To imagine one revolution is like another or that in almost 3 centuries nothing has changed, well, what can one say? Brand preaches peaceful, non-violent revolution. It is only the extreme right who are so terrified of the general population, who they see as a bunch of oiks and therefore unfit to make their own choices. Well up yours Lebouche et Cie I can make my own choices and I don’t need some unimaginative thicko, some corrupt politician or some socially dysfunctional royal making them for me.
    It’s a great book Russell – Vive la Revolution!

  • Dibzeb

    Hair Spray may save his life, Robby Spear and Rousseau Brande, grand revolutionary humorists accused of grandstanding in their lead cannot be accused at any stage of catching their own jokes.

  • Barry

    The Sun is scum but at leaast they don’t pretend to be anything else. Brand is worse than the Sun.