Why North Korea is Probably the Safest Place on Earth Right Now

Comrade Kim Jong-un

Comrade Kim Jong-un

PYONYANG – N.Korea – Thousands of people in the west are now thinking of migrating to North Korea, as it is a closed off haven away from possible Ebola infection and open borders.

Air traffic into North Korea is almost non existent and this is the reason why it will survive any form of pandemic.

“We knew this would happen sooner or later, something like Ebola. We have time on our hands, while the globalised world is getting infected with one virus after another, we here in the People’s Republic are enjoying ourselves with the thought that we’re out of the globalised community who are in serious danger. Keep letting those planes fly, idiots,” Kim Sum, a regional manager for Pyonyang relayed to the BBC’s South East Asia news service on Wednesday.

So how does one get into the closed off country of N.Korea?

We asked an immigration expert at the University of Kentucky, Dean Summers, who has officiated on many international migration problems.

“If you want to live in N.Korea you have to be a communist and agree to all staunch communistic rules that may apply. Currently, N.Korea is a country that is cut off from the rest of the world, not only politically but travelwise. Although this may be irksome to anyone who wished to try and save their lives from the irresponsible leaders in the West who are wilfully endangering their populations by encouraging Ebola struck countries to fly into the United States and Europe, some people may try and migrate towards South Korea then pass through the border to the North. There are many drawbacks, because you could be deemed as a spy, or break some petty rule and be executed, or worse still sent to a concentration re-education camp.”

Well there you have it, N.Korea is now officially the safest nation in the world.