New Marathon Running Suit Unveiled

LONDON – England – Marathon runners around the world are embracing a new running kit that some say will revolutionise marathon running.

“You do 26 miles wearing this on a sunny day and you get a medal for sure,” Arturro Damascus, a runner who is to compete at the upcoming London Marathon said.

The 50kg suit is made from cast iron and steel and will ensure the runners cross the finishing line in one piece.

“I used to run marathons with a simple pair of shorts and a shirt but those days are over. Since I’ve been wearing my new marathon running suit I haven’t lost any limbs. Sometimes we can get three or four explosions in one race, but this thing just shrugs those flying red hot shrapnel pieces off like gnats on a goddamn windshield,” another avid marathon fan told the BBC.

It’s not just armour plated suits that are now in vogue for runners but some are even running marathons in armoured vehicles, although this could be deemed as cheating by marathon officials, at least the participants get to the finish line.

“Hell yeah. I ran the Tokyo marathon last week in an armoured vehicle with 15 inch thick steel walls. Took a direct hit and didn’t even realise it,” Jensen Malineros, 23, told CNN before being disqualified from the race.