Andy Gray Replaced by "Blonde Bird With Big Tits"

Blonde bombshell Chazza Chavnee, 23, with a stunning 44D-24-34 figure will be the new Sky Sports presenter

BURNLEY - England - Sky Sports football pundit, Andy Gray, has been summarily sacked and replaced by some "top totty with great honking tits" a Sky spokesperson said today.

"Her name's Chazza, and she will be wearing some revealing tops when she's reading from the autocue. Don't worry lads, she doesn't know sweet FA about the beautiful game, but in between halves, you can all have a five knuckle shuffle session over her jiggling jugs," Sky Sports spokesperson, Harriet Greer, said.

Football fans are actually glad about the demise of Andy Gray and already the 'blonde bint' is a big hit with the viewers.

"Fuck the footie, when she comes on I have to get my striker out and have a throw-in, then trap the ball and slide it up the near post. I might decide to get in a 4-3-3 formation and dribble a bit, then it's a quick 1-2 assist finally bursting into the danger zone. When I can't hold the ball any longer I shoot and 'splurge' into the back of the net," Jim Slip, 42, a Liverpool fan told the BBC.

Another football fan, Fred Dimble, a Birmingham City supporter, said: "Gray was a boring sexist overpaid arsehole. I like what they've done now by replacing him with a right bit of sauce. This slapper doesn't know her left foot from her right but I bet she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. How else do you think the dolly bird got the job in the first place?"

Rupert Murdoch, who was instrumental in the sacking of Gray and is the part owner of Sky Sports, spoke from London whilst judging a Page 3 contest for the Sun newspaper: "News Corporation doesn't like publishing material that depicts women as sexual objects merely to be ogled at, this is why we sacked Andy Gray and that other twat from his job for making those outrageous comments about that female linesman who incidentally is going to do a full page spread for us next week."