Footballer's Wife Forgives Footballer's Wallet After Another Indiscretion

Colletta Booney pictured carrying two suitcases of cash to a Manchester shopping mall last week

MANCHESTER – England – It was business as usual at the Booney household today after another routine prostitution debacle was uncovered by the country's media.

Another week in the world of football. Another footballer caught playing away from home with a prostitute. As scripts go this is pretty standard stuff.

“Wayne was caught having it off with prostitutes while his slapper wife was giving birth to their first child. Is the Pope Catholic? Do bears shit in the woods?” Ronald Eakin, a football agent dealing with Manchester United players told the Mirror.

What about the footballer’s wife? Well, naturally, she being a paid hand herself, will forgive her footballing husband’s many jaunts with the prostitutes because she can’t afford to lose his bulging wallet.

“I’m going to forgive his wallet because I know what it’s like to be paid for sex. That’s all a footballer’s wife is anyway, a trumped up whore with shopping bags coming out of every orifice conceivable,” Colletta Booney told the Sun tabloid.