17.7 C
London
Thursday, April 18, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSportsEngland Goalie Outdone by American Oil Slick

England Goalie Outdone by American Oil Slick

RUSTENBERG - South Africa - English goalkeeper, Rob Green, was outdone by a treacherous American oil strike on goal yesterday.

“What could he do? The slimy Americans soaked the ball in oil from the Gulf of Mexico then kicked it at Rob,” Fabio Capello, the England coach moaned at the end of the game.

According to World Cup officials, the Americans soaked the ball in prime crude oil as soon as they got onto the pitch.

“I saw the Americans get onto the pitch with a big bucket of seawater from the Gulf of Mexico. That shit’s hundred percent proof pure gasoline now. Well, then I saw one of the strikers, Clint Dempsey get the ball and stick it in the bucket,” an official standing on the sidelines claimed.

Butter fingers, Rob Green, was all slippery when the greased up ball went under him like a knife through butter.

“Let’s just say this is revenge for the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico which we are blaming on the limeys,” a US sports commentator, Dan Spitzer, said on the CBS network.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »