Winning hearts and minds with a round of golf
NAJAF – Iraq – According to the Iraqi Ministry of Sport and Culture, Golf has been adopted by the Iraqis as the countries most popular game.
The Americans brought many things to Iraq after the invasion. They not only introduced Iraqis to the wonderful delights of depleted uranium, random shootings and waterboarding amongst many other delights but also the wonderful sport of golf.
“By Allah this golf game is the best thing in the world. There is nothing I like more than to relax after a hard day dodging suicide bombers, IED’s, VBIED’s, murder squads, tanks and mortar shells than with a nice relaxing round of golf,” Mohammed Rashid Juba, a member of Baghdad’s world famous golf club said from the fifth hole.
Golf club membership has gone through the roof in Iraq, especially in the last few months. Local businessman, Ali bin Abdullah, has said that he is struggling to keep up with the high demand for golf gear. Just last month, turnover in his tiny shop in Baghdad’s Sunni Triangle district quadrupled.
“I am getting mostly Jihadis coming into the shop and ex-Baath party members. They are not interested in rocket launchers and mines as much as a good iron or putter. As you know we have some of the finest golf courses in the world here even though 96% of the country is sand and desert.”
One thing that has taken the Iraqis by storm is that women are now major players in the sport across the whole of Iraq despite Mullahs and religious leaders condemning the exodus from the home and on to the green.
“I blame the infidel dogs who have come to corrupt our women. What’s next? Pole dancing? I mean this is ridiculous, three of my wives are out on the course as we speak. My fourth wife, Layla, can now complete the whole course and finish off with a double bogey average for all twenty holes. I mean this insane, they should be at home pleasing me and not in the desert hitting balls around the dunes,” Sheik Badr al Din, a religious leader based in Mosul told the Iraq daily newspaper, Al-Hayat.
There is even talk of an Iraqi yearly tournament being organised and everywhere across the country golf courses are springing up like oasis’.
Image – Ninj – b3ta.com