Fingerprint Technology Blamed For Street Choppings

LONDON – England – Apple’s fingerprint enabled new iPhone 5S has seen a five fold increase in robbers chopping fingers off smartphone owners in the capital.

Detective Constable, Dean Arkwright of the Metropolitan Police has warned people who own fingerprint password smartphones and other tech hardware to be vigilant as determined robbers and thieves simply lop off hands and fingers so they can take the devices and sell them on the black market.

Jill Pethybridge, an Amazon customer, was shocked on Thursday when she received a secondhand iPhone utilising fingerprint technology from an unscrupulous internet vendor only to find a finger stuck on the phone with a bit of cellotape.

“Well it smelled a bit when I opened the package but I’m getting used to it. It’s the only way I can use the phone now, so I’ve wrapped a chain around it and sealed the wound with some plaster. I don’t know whose finger it is but who cares? I’ve got a newish iPhone for a bargain price.”

Since fingerprint technology was brought in last week, there have been over 650 incidents of gory finger or hand amputation in London alone.

One victim recalled his harrowing story to the BBC: ” I was walking along Tottenham High Street talking on my iPhone when I felt a sharp tug. Next thing I know, my whole arm was gone with the iPhone. It’s bloody ridiculous innit, can’t even walk down the street anymore. Oh well, look on the bright side, at least I can use my new Samsung smartphone with the remaining hand.”