MOSCOW – Russia – A Russian research team has built a mind transfer concept android which is fuelled by vodka.
The team’s goal is to help humanity achieve immortality by 2045 using a combination of vodka and interstellar travel to create a Russian universal utopia.
“We will be able to achieve immortality by transferring our drunk vodka swilled minds into an avatar. The good thing about this is that there will not be any need for a liver and the androids will be permanently pissed on the finest Stolichnaya. This is the future of humanity. Imagine being drunk for eternity and not having to deal with death or jaundice. George Best would have loved this one, shame it’s a little too late for him, poor bastard,” Russian tycoon Dmitry Drinkski, who is funding and heading the project, told Russian news agencies Tuesday.
The android/avatars will mirror the human form of the person who wants their sozzled mind transferred and will have tubes permanently siphoning pure vodka into their fuel cells.
“I like a drink, everyone in Russia will be able to live and drink forever as a vodka swilling latex avatar. I am so excited about this project. Excuse me while I have another swig,” Mr Drinkski said before downing a large pint glass of vodka, then projectile vomiting into a small paper cup.