Muggers Getting Ready For Apple iWatch Launch


LONDON – England – The coming launch of the Apple iWatch will be a lucrative pay day for muggers and criminals worldwide.

“This will be the biggest pay day we get. Y’all can’t hide those Apple iWatches from us, not like an iPad, or iPhone, that shit’s on yo wrist and each one worth $500,” Tayshon Johnsons, a known mugger with an extensive criminal record from New York told MSNBC.

In London, an iWatch would retail at double the U.S. price and muggers have been licking their lips at the prospect of grabbing some iWatch action.

“These are like digital Rolex, I don’t care if that thing is glued on your wrist, there’s always a way to get it off, with or without pain,” Denzel Lamarr, 23, from Canning Town, East London told the BBC.

There are innovative ways to get around being mugged for your Apple iWatch, either you can learn karate or you can cunningly disguise your pride and joy as a simple Casio digital from 1987 by ingeniously making an overlay. Some have even suggested wearing the iWatch on your ankle so if wearing trousers it is covered, or by having very long shirts disguising the big lucrative bulge from thieving eyes.

Whatever happens, iWatch launch day beckons and the thugs, muggers and criminals are waiting for those Apple luvvies to emerge from the shiny white stores, ripe fruit for the picking.

  • KC

    The Apple Watch price will be from $350 – $12,000. Steal five a day and you be in the coin.