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<title>Glenn Beck Birth Certificate Says He Was Born in Afghanistan</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2424</link>
<description><![CDATA[ WASHINGTON DC - USA - In a remarkable turn of events in Capitol Hill, newly released documents have revealed that Glenn Beck is actually a member of the Taliban.]]></description>
<author>by Ludwig Von Scheisse</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:46:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Hague: &quot;I'm Not Gay But My Boyfriend Is&quot;</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2423</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LONDON - England - Conservative central office was in turmoil today after the Foreign Secretary, William Hague was forced to deny that he employed the services of a young man in a hotel room during the election campaign.]]></description>
<author>by Guido Balks</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 21:31:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Massive Investigation After England Wins Cricket Match</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=121&amp;a=2422</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LONDON - England - Lords cricket ground was at the centre of a massive investigation by the International Cricket Council after the England team's spectacular win yesterday.]]></description>
<author>by Hugh Dworking</author>
<category>Sports</category>
<pubDate>Tue, 31 Aug 2010 21:18:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Coventry Chinese Restaurant Employs Cat Napper Mary Bale</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2419</link>
<description><![CDATA[ COVENTRY - England - She may have lost her job as a bank clerk and is now one of the most reviled women in the UK, but at least Mary Bale has one champion who wants to employ her services.]]></description>
<author>by Katonine Tayles</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Sun, 29 Aug 2010 16:01:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Bush Returns to Arena With Six-Figure Memoir Book Deal</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2418</link>
<description><![CDATA[ TEXAS - USA - George W. Bush returns to the public arena since leaving office 19 months ago with a memoir and some words of wisdom for those who buy the tell-all book.]]></description>
<author>by Otto Strasser</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Sat, 28 Aug 2010 17:48:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Could This be the New SuBo?</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=122&amp;a=2417</link>
<description><![CDATA[ COVENTRY - England - Britain's Got Talent judges and the British public have been astounded by the latest piece of massive talent to come out of our great nation -- Mary Bale.]]></description>
<author>by Felix Catter</author>
<category>Entertainment</category>
<pubDate>Sat, 28 Aug 2010 07:54:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>George Michael Looking Forward to Jail</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=122&amp;a=2413</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LONDON - England - Pop singer George Michael has revealed his joy at the prospect of being sent to jail for reckless driving while under the influence of drugs.]]></description>
<author>by Stavros Stools</author>
<category>Entertainment</category>
<pubDate>Wed, 25 Aug 2010 21:24:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Tony Blair Book Bestseller in Iraq</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2412</link>
<description><![CDATA[ BAGHDAD - Iraq - Former British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, made a surprise visit to the war-torn capital city today to attend a much appreciated book signing.]]></description>
<author>by August Heissmeyer</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Tue, 24 Aug 2010 21:46:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Government Pathologist Says Dr. Kelly's Death 'Textbook Suicide'</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2409</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LONDON - England - The untimely death of Iraq weapons expert, David Kelly, was a "textbook case" of suicide, according to the government appointed pathologist who performed the post-mortem examination.]]></description>
<author>by Anthony Bliar</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Mon, 23 Aug 2010 11:10:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Fury as Furious Politicians Spit Fury at Furious Voters</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2382</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LONDON - England - There was fury at a rally in Parliament square yesterday as furious crowds of furious protesters reacted furiously to furious Coalition politicians attending a march that sparked off a lot of fury.]]></description>
<author>by Dawn Lithgow</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Sat, 21 Aug 2010 16:35:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Obama Having White House Redecorated During Vacation</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2408</link>
<description><![CDATA[ WASHINGTON DC - USA - Barack Hussein Obama is having the White House redecorated to suit his tastes better whilst he and his family enjoy their sixth vacation in four months.]]></description>
<author>by Adnan Ali Muad'Dib</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Thu, 19 Aug 2010 21:53:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Why Social Networking Has Been Best Tool for Criminals and Governments</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=124&amp;a=2386</link>
<description><![CDATA[ WASHINGTON DC - USA - Once upon a time it used to be quite hard for the government and criminals to get private data from individuals, nowadays the information gleaned from social networking sites is so vast that they have been overwhelmed.]]></description>
<author>by Alonzo Moseley</author>
<category>Most Popular</category>
<pubDate>Thu, 19 Aug 2010 07:10:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Universities Teach Degrees in 'Unemployment Studies'</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2407</link>
<description><![CDATA[ NEWCASTLE - England - Universities will be forced to give compulsory courses to all students in unemployment studies says the chief coalition education Tsar, Joe  Bless.]]></description>
<author>by Zbigniew Krzysztofzsizki</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Mon, 16 Aug 2010 12:43:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>It Beggars Belief: How the Fake Politicians are Raking in More Than £200,000 a Year</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2406</link>
<description><![CDATA[ WESTMINSTER - England - Their apparently pitiful existence and pleas for money attract the generosity of many taxpayers. But some politicians are making the equivalent of a £200,000-a-year salary, police have revealed.]]></description>
<author>by Jim Jones</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Mon, 16 Aug 2010 07:16:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Recession Britain: Government Scientists Now Say 70 Minutes in Hour</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2405</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LONDON - England - In a bid to increase productivity during the recession, politicians have ordered scientists and mathematicians to find a way of sticking an extra ten minutes onto a 60 minute hour.]]></description>
<author>by Ludwig Von Khumstane</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Sun, 15 Aug 2010 07:56:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Spanish Hotel Wants Expensive Cutlery Back After Michelle Obama Trip</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2402</link>
<description><![CDATA[ MARBELLA - Spain - The $4000 per night Hotel Villa Padierna in which Michelle Obama and her entourage stayed for their vacation have asked the first lady to return the cutlery she allegedly took, a hotel spokesman has said.]]></description>
<author>by Brent Sasquatch</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Fri, 13 Aug 2010 14:50:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Sweat Shop Owner Philip Green to Review Government Spending</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=119&amp;a=2404</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LONDON - England - Billionaire sweat shop owner, Sir Philip Green, has been appointed by the PM to review government spending.]]></description>
<author>by Shia Locke</author>
<category>Business</category>
<pubDate>Fri, 13 Aug 2010 09:57:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Ground Zero Mosque to be Spectacular Say Americans</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2403</link>
<description><![CDATA[ NEW YORK - USA - Americans are eagerly awaiting the unveiling of the huge Islamic mosque which is currently being constructed on the site of the demolished twin towers.]]></description>
<author>by Abdul bin Cooter</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Fri, 13 Aug 2010 07:33:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Gazza Visits Flood Hit Pakistan</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2396</link>
<description><![CDATA[ SINDH - Pakistan - Ex-champion footballer Paul Gascoigne has flown out to the devastated areas of Pakistan to bring much needed relief to the thousands of Pakistanis stranded by rising flood waters.]]></description>
<author>by Rodney Maccleswaithe</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Thu, 12 Aug 2010 19:15:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Armed Robber Forces Local Bank to Lend</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2401</link>
<description><![CDATA[ STOKE-ON-TRENT - England - Susan Benson, 34, was so desperate for a bank loan for her new flower business that she took it upon herself to acquire the loan from her local bank who had refused her a loan earlier, by robbing it.]]></description>
<author>by Saul Hudson</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Thu, 12 Aug 2010 09:53:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Cloned Cows Attack Farm Visitors After Vicious Taunts</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2399</link>
<description><![CDATA[ CHESHIRE - England - There was mayhem and chaos at a cloned cow farming facility today after cloned cows and bulls attacked a farm hand and visitors after being teased for being cloned cows.]]></description>
<author>by Eldridge Numtadger</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Wed, 11 Aug 2010 15:26:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>The EU: 'More Tax Please You're British'</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2398</link>
<description><![CDATA[ BRUSSELS - Belgium - The British people will now have to work for over 250 days in the year to make any money for themselves, after it was revealed that the EU wants to tax Britain further.]]></description>
<author>by Josef Pendergrass</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Tue, 10 Aug 2010 22:19:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Urgent Appeal for Donations to Save Fergie</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2395</link>
<description><![CDATA[ WINDSOR - England - The Daily Squib is appealing to our readers to save the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson from bankruptcy. Please donate all you can.]]></description>
<author>by Leemy Hansingham</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Mon, 09 Aug 2010 06:54:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Spain Closed Down for Michelle Obama Shopping Trip</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=124&amp;a=2393</link>
<description><![CDATA[ COSTA DEL SOL - Spain - American taxpayers were footing another massive bill last night after the president's wife, Michelle Obama, flew in to the country on an exclusive shopping trip.]]></description>
<author>by Jorge Chupas</author>
<category>Most Popular</category>
<pubDate>Sat, 07 Aug 2010 12:06:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Obama Blames BP for Slave Trade</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2392</link>
<description><![CDATA[ WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Barack Obama has added another point of blame on BP by saying they were responsible for the slave trade hundreds of years ago.]]></description>
<author>by Reginald Sandwich</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Fri, 06 Aug 2010 13:26:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Body Scanner Operator Caught Masturbating at Colorado Airport</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2389</link>
<description><![CDATA[ DENVER - USA - A full body scanner operator was caught masturbating during a scanning session by airport staff late Tuesday.]]></description>
<author>by Hugh Muzzbe</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Wed, 04 Aug 2010 22:19:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Motorists Across Britain Flocking to Oxfordshire</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=124&amp;a=2384</link>
<description><![CDATA[ OXFORDSHIRE - England - Thousands of British motorists have been flocking to the county after hundreds of speed cameras were switched off last night at midnight.]]></description>
<author>by Warren Tuffet</author>
<category>Most Popular</category>
<pubDate>Wed, 04 Aug 2010 16:05:00 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Brown Voted Best British PM by Al Qaeda</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2388</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LAHORE - Pakistan - Gordon Brown has been voted the best British Prime Minister since the Second World War by a poll of more than 100 Al Qaeda leaders and operatives.]]></description>
<author>by Jock McTavish</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Tue, 03 Aug 2010 19:10:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Jacqui Smith to 'Sex Up' BBC</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2387</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LONDON - England - Former Soviet mistress of the politburo, Jacqui Smith has secured a top job at the BBC, her agent announced today.]]></description>
<author>by Peter Orinoco</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Mon, 02 Aug 2010 21:27:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Chelsea Clinton Gets Divorced</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=122&amp;a=2383</link>
<description><![CDATA[ NEW YORK - USA - Chelsea Clinton has divorced her newly wedded husband, Marc Lewinsky, after only two and a half minutes of marriage, reports have claimed.]]></description>
<author>by Monica Kaplinski</author>
<category>Entertainment</category>
<pubDate>Sun, 01 Aug 2010 08:07:00 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Mel Gibson to Become Monk in Italian Monastery</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=122&amp;a=2381</link>
<description><![CDATA[ REGELLO - Italy - Hollywood actor, Mel Gibson, has been accepted as a monk at Corborrosa Abbey and will stay there for the rest of his life to dedicate himself to the worship of Christ, his agent has revealed.]]></description>
<author>by Jane Geithner</author>
<category>Entertainment</category>
<pubDate>Fri, 30 Jul 2010 21:42:00 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Surprise as Leak Reveals Thousands More Civilians Killed by US</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2379</link>
<description><![CDATA[ KABUL - Afghanistan - There was worldwide surprise today after an internet leak revealed the extent of civilian deaths meted out by the US and UK war machine was much higher than previously revealed.]]></description>
<author>by Robert Dupont</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:16:00 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Brokeback Coalition Riding on into Sunset</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2378</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LONDON - England - Since their momentous election 'win', the new coalition of Conservatives and Lib Dems have been working like a well oiled machine pumping away at the political cogs of government with ease.]]></description>
<author>by Herbert Gainsborough</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Mon, 26 Jul 2010 07:28:00 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Saudi Arabia Bans the French Beret</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2377</link>
<description><![CDATA[ RIYADH - Saudi Arabia - One of the most prominent Islamic countries in the Middle East has taken drastic steps to thwart the Christian 'Frenchification' of its populace by banning the French beret cap, the Saudi Culture Minister has announced.]]></description>
<author>by Alfonse Baudrillard</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Fri, 23 Jul 2010 08:57:00 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>David Cameron Presents Obama With Spray Can Graffiti Gift</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2376</link>
<description><![CDATA[ WASHINGTON DC - USA - Barack Obama has been given a great gift from the British prime minister, David Cameron, on his recent visit to the American capital city.]]></description>
<author>by Ace Carder</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Thu, 22 Jul 2010 21:06:00 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>UK Overflowing With Mass Murdering Taxi Drivers and Psychotic Night Club Bouncers</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=125&amp;a=2366</link>
<description><![CDATA[ ROTHBURY - England - Independent census officials have concluded that Britain is a potent pressure cooker cocktail of pent up violence about to blow a gasket.]]></description>
<author>by Ludwig Hump</author>
<category>Opinion</category>
<pubDate>Tue, 20 Jul 2010 21:18:00 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>David Cameron Launches His Big Society</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2372</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LIVERPOOL - England - Prime Minister David Cameron is set to launch his "big society" drive today.]]></description>
<author>by Edwin Gunther</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Mon, 19 Jul 2010 08:03:00 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Former London Mayor Ken Livingstone's New Son Exclusive Pics</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2371</link>
<description><![CDATA[ LONDON - England - Ken Livingstone showed off his new son on a day out at London Zoo yesterday.]]></description>
<author>by Meat Johnsons</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Fri, 16 Jul 2010 09:42:00 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>How Muslim Women in France are Skirting Around Niqab Ban</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2370</link>
<description><![CDATA[ MARSEILLES - France - After the French authorities banned the niqab for all Muslim women in the country, many Islamic women are finding novel ways around the ban.]]></description>
<author>by Abdullah bin Kaliffa</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Thu, 15 Jul 2010 15:03:00 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Gordon Brown Laughing While UK Struggles With £5 Trillion Debt</title>
<link>http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/?c=117&amp;a=2368</link>
<description><![CDATA[ FIFE - Scotland - Safe in his bolthole far away from any repercussions, former prime minister, Gordon Brown is hailing his success in destroying the UK's economy irreparably.]]></description>
<author>by Rawnsley Jenkins</author>
<category>World</category>
<pubDate>Wed, 14 Jul 2010 07:35:00 GMT</pubDate>
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