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UK Overflowing With Mass Murdering Taxi Drivers and Psychotic Night Club Bouncers

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Many more of these to come.. Many more of these to come..

ROTHBURY - England - Independent census officials have concluded that Britain is a potent pressure cooker cocktail of pent up violence about to blow a gasket.

Census officials operating in England and Wales, have concluded after extensive research, that the UK is a pressure cooker of psychotic aggression about to blow off at any moment.

"What do you expect, we're all crammed onto one little fucking island? We have psychotic politicians and prime ministers affecting this unholy soup of explosive semtex we call British society. Add into the mix, the mass immigration from Eastern Europe and the Third World; the vast gap between the rich and poor made worse by 13 years of Labour; potential increases in taxes that will ruin the already indebted people further; the loss of jobs wiping out whole swathes of sectors within industries, and you've got a recipe for mass destruction. When it kicks off, you better get your rubber dinghy and start paddling off this rancid island, and make it sharpish as well, or you'll get torn to pieces," Robert Hutchinson, a senior analyst on the team told Reuters.


Every week in the UK there are stories of lone men or women, who, having had enough of everything, decide to go on the rampage with a firearm and cause mayhem. The British police, who are not allowed to carry guns are usually too frightened to do anything but run away. Of course, there is always a mass media extravaganza following all the gory action. The only similarity to American societal sporadic bouts of carnage is that, in the UK people are sitting ducks, because they have no means to protect themselves.

"The regular coppers in Britain don't have guns so they usually get shot by crazed gunmen if they can't run away fast enough. By the time the specialist gun cops get to the scene who are licensed to carry arms, it's usually all over. That's why it is all too easy to go on the rampage in England. The general populace have all been disarmed by the punitive laws created by successive governments that have only succeeded in creating a serious climate of fear. You see, we don't have any guns but the criminals and psychos do. When it all kicks off, they'll be the ones with the power," Mr Hutchinson wrote in the report.


The law in the UK makes it practically illegal for a citizen to defend themselves from anyone wishing to harm either you or any members of your family. Courts look very dimly on anyone who defends themselves from attack and have imprisoned countless victims of crime who chose to fight back.

Mr Hutchinson concluded: "The laws that were created by the previous Labour government favoured the rights of the criminals as opposed to those of the victims. It seems that Conservative Justice secretary, Kenneth Clarke is carrying on in the same manner as the idiotic Labour government by encouraging more criminals and psychopathic gunmen to run amok in our streets. Is there a tipping point for the carnage? Not yet, but believe you me, it will soon materialise. If the whole system from top to bottom is psychotic and run by psychopaths, then there is absolutely no hope for anyone at the bottom of the ladder."

Britain is a tinderbox waiting to go off. All that will be needed amongst the usually pliant Britons is more recession. The recipe for disaster may have been planned by the hierarchy many years ago, possibly as a way to whittle down the masses with a few riots here and there. The post-consumerist society which is coming into fruition will ensure that there will be the necessary destruction of the old to bring in the new scientific technical society.

"Here in the UK we do not protest or do riots per se. The English, particularly, have a rather masochistic slant on things with their 'stiff upper lips' and would rather have everything taken from them before they utter even a word of discomfort. How longer can they be bent over a table and fucked, how long can they have their wealth pillaged and their jobs taken away from beneath their feet? All it takes is a food shortage, the elite of course will be living it up whilst Rome burns. There are already enclaves within countries like Croatia where the elite and select members of the governing classes will be able to indulge themselves from afar and watch the action unfold via satellite television," a senior Whitehall
source told the Squib.

Sooner or later the ship will come in. One can never halt the inevitable, one can only delay it. Stimulus packages only work for a little time, reality is always present however much money you throw into the black hole. The maelstrom economic tsunami will take what it wanted last time -- this time around.
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Subscribe to comments feed Comments (9 posted)

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Trevor 22/12/2011 14:24:45
Yes, it's not funny. Satire has to reveal something unexpected. Oh and be funny.
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charlie 22/12/2011 18:39:55
this is in the 'opinion' section so i don't think it is meant to be satire although i could be wrong on that.
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Theo 24/05/2011 14:41:50
Quote: "U Brits don't have guns? HAH that's funny! LMFAO"

Your name's Jesse?! Ha ha, now THAT is funny!
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teresa baker 23/01/2011 12:51:56
Saturday evening 16th Jan 11 my son was beaten unconscious by members of staff in Revolutions Plymouth. My son is a quite boy and is not confrontational. He was chatting to a girl and her boyfriend told him off so there was a bit of shoving so the doormen wanted them out. The doorman threw the lad out and came back for my son, my son told the doorman ‘no problem mate I’ll walk’ but the doorman was not having that he grabbed my sons arm up his back and lifted him off the floor, they ended up on the floor where the doorman put his fingers in my sons mouth pulling on his cheek and grabbing at his eyes, my sons reaction was to bite , well if you put your fingers in someone’s mouth to hurt them you have to expect that.

The next thing my son knows he’s on oxygen in an ambulance. The door staff beat his face to a pulp. Then when 2 of them carried him out to an ambulance a 3rd punched him in the mouth, he lost most of his front tooth and had his lip stitched up. His face is a mess, he has a boot mark to his face, cuts below his eyes where the door man gouged his eyes, both his ears are badly bruised, his temples are both badly swollen & he has other swellings on his face as well as injures to other parts of his body. They have no right to hurt anyone that way especially if my son offered to go without any bother.
The paragraph below was emailed me fro a bouncer I know up in the midlands

, ‘All the bouncers know where there is no CCTV coverage, that way they can get away with what they want! They are bullies and a waste of space. Hopefully witnesses come forward so these bouncers lose their "Licence"! Many people aren't keen on them and know they need better monitoring.’
The manager Kate Bunker gave to the name of the company which is Bridgegate, they are in Nottingham. I have emaild them but they have not answered me.
The police were outside the club and I believe a couple of my sons friends asked them for help but they declined!!

I will not let them get away with this I want justice and I will get it what ever it takes which normally means through the media, they are vicious thugs who should be working with pit bulls not the general public.

This is an email I received from his friend
‘I was there the whole time and even tried covering his head to stop them hitting him... when he went out cold i was screaming and they obliviously panicked and placed him in the recovery position and i got removed from the club by another bouncer and i had bruises on my arm. The bouncer that punched him did it whilst Simon was on the floor and he hit him and carried walking on up the stairs. Me and matt tried talking to the police but they wouldn't go in to revs.... It winds me up.’
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pascal lombard 25/07/2010 09:56:53
The people who think thwy have rights or a say in how things are run in the UK are mistaken. What about Ian Tomlinson, did he have rights? No, he had no rights and the policeman who murdered him in cold blood showed that the police have free reign to murder citizens without reproach or prosecution.
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Emanuel 22/07/2010 12:43:34
We don t have a right to protest in this country anymore. The sheeple wouldnt know what to do anyway even if we had a right to protest.

This country is fucked!
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hendry 21/07/2010 16:09:26
utterly unfunny pap, who wrote this dross?
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Rimbaud 21/07/2010 13:53:22
I don't find this article very funny at all.. this is too close to the truth..
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Jesse 21/07/2010 08:15:53
U Brits don't have guns? HAH that's funny! LMFAO
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