Editor: How the Daily Squib Was Cut Down in 2013

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LONDON – England – The Daily Squib has been attacked, maligned, censored and cut down numerous times but it will never give up the fight for satire and the truth.

Hey, life isn’t fair, we know that, whoopy doo da.

The DS came onto the scene in 2007 and was plodding along writing stories with a satirical slant. It wasn’t until the U.S. presidential elections came along in 2008 when the Squib got some good exposure regarding the new kid on the block Obama.

The traffic was huge, sometimes we had to change servers just to cope as the melt down hit, but it was a good feeling, to know that satire had somehow been propelled into the internet age.

Of course, there was little or no recognition from the main stream but who wants that any way?

Then came 2013, a fateful year for the Daily Squib, speeding along dedicated to satire, to truth, when Blam! we got hit.

Sometimes to reveal the truth we must dig deep, go into places where the linear is not linear but step sideways or diagonally through the tesseract, to mock with virility and passion until it reveals itself.

Overnight, our traffic disappeared. There was no reason or rhyme. Get the SEO detectives in, and surely enough we found that Google had wiped 95% of links from the web. They had even gone as far as to take our Page Rank completely, reinstated later, but now as of writing PR is defunct anyway. Sure there had been many satirical indiscretions on the Squib’s part but what could warrant such a purge from the net? Especially when we have barely recovered today.

The truth of satire can cut to the bone, and the Daily Squib had obviously pissed off some humourless censor somewhere along the line, but who?

Well, we did our research and one of the main standing points was the Kissinger story, which received major news from all over the world, especially the Middle East. To tell you the truth, as editor, I had a deep fearful sense of awe for Henry Kissinger much like someone has for somebody who can command the death of millions of people without even batting an eyelid or losing a wink of sleep at night. The greatest statesman still alive today. Like that’s just a crazy amount of power. The story was immediately dubbed as ‘Accurate Satire’ whatever that may be it hit the nail on the head.

By now you may know we’re not into writing cutesy banal stories like the rest of the websites springing up all over the place and peddling their jolly template wares solely to please advertisers. We write quality hard hitting bone crunching meat and potatoes true satire, that of Juvenal, where he did not falter but dug deep into the flesh. We don’t want recognition for what we write, and we rightly don’t get it from the main stream media because our stuff is deeper and more personal than they will ever get. They are restrained by careers, corporate protocol and editors and all the other shit that makes up the faux world of their duplicitous media circus. We are not and never will be part of their faux heavily controlled plastic existence.

Anyway, back to 2013. Forensic SEO analysis, or experts in the field of search engines who seem to be the new wizards of the internet, showed us that on the night of writing this story, we were practically erased from the web. Must have hit a nerve or something.

There’s something quite fitting that Obama later turns up in Paris waving a Je Suis Charlie placard when he is obviously someone who does not take kindly to being satirised and is not a proponent of free speech unless it suits his administration’s left-wing agenda.

From then on, the site kept getting slapped with infractions for stuff that is allowed on main stream news sites. What are we to say about this? The Daily Squib is above all these things, but still constrained under this censored Googleised Obama entity. Needless to say, we can’t wait till Obama leaves office and maybe the stranglehold will release a little, although we doubt that very much.

And what of the European Union? Satire, will be punished and free speech completely purged. This is one amongst many reasons why Britain must leave the EU if it wants to retain any semblance of a democracy and free speech. This is why the Squib will always fight for Britain to retain its sovereignty even resorting to factual data driven articles for the Brexit cause. Already in Germany satirists are being arrested and tried. This is what ‘free speech’ means in the EU.

A maverick publication like the Daily Squib does still exist today, in a place where the internet has changed for the worse. There is a glass ceiling, and there are now borders to the internet in its heavily controlled censored state, we fear free speech is being eroded, and it will get worse as time goes by. What are the answers? There are none, all there is is a libertarian anarchic spark saying Fuck You to the ones who wish to curtail free speech, to put borders on creativity and true expression, to cut down high art, to kill artists and stifle the truth. Fuck you with all the might of a million pens and paint brushes as you are nothing in the Universal Mind that powers everything.

When we say We, substitute with I, but understand that one person can write all the satirical stories, do all the artwork, design, and even deal with advertisers whilst pretending to be thousands of characters at the same time is hard work, but I will continue with the Daily Squib for as long as it takes to bring recognition to the satirical genre.

Satire serves a very important place in what is coming close to a contrived heavily censored Orwellian world, it is the last stand of democracy and freedom of expression and by cutting down satirical discourse Western civilisation is disappearing slowly down the plug hole into the sewer of totalitarianism.

Where is Sir Tim Berners-Lee now? The internet started off so beautifully, where everything was there, and anyone could say anything. Those heady days of the internet are all but a wonderful dream, now turned into a nightmare of protocols, of heavy regulation, censorship, anti-free speech and restrictive laws.

The Daily Squib is an equal opportunities satire breaking news newspaper and it dips its pen into everything, living, dead or zombified.

The Editor

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  • mike_in_brum

    I think immigrants should be sent home with a huge kick in the back!

  • John Taylor

    “Fuck you with all the might of a million pens and paint brushes” wow that’s quite a line. kudos.