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Mick Jagger: Rolling Stones Might Retire in 2025

LONDON - England - Mick Jagger has told Rolling Stone magazine that the Rolling Stone's might consider retiring in 2025. ... Full story

Santa Pissed Off After WikiLeaks Reveals Xmas List

NORTH POLE - Arctic - Documents released by whistle-blowing website WikiLeaks have revealed sensitive information regarding the world's Christmas gift list, the Times reported Sunday. ... Full story

Obama's Job is Done

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Critics of Barack Hussein Obama say that he has created more discord, polarity, bankruptcy and hopelessness. They are right. That was his job in the first place. ... Full story

Pope Benedict XVI Visits Britain

LONDON - England - When he's not staring at worshippers with his hypnotic demonic gaze or sacrificing babies to Baal in the Vatican crypt, Pope Benedict likes to take trips abroad to convert more people to the ways of the Catholic church. ... Full story

Hague: "I'm Not Gay But My Boyfriend Is"

LONDON - England - Conservative central office was in turmoil today after the Foreign Secretary, William Hague was forced to deny that he employed the services of a young man in a hotel room during the election campaign. ... Full story

Spain Closed Down for Michelle Obama Shopping Trip

COSTA DEL SOL - Spain - American taxpayers were footing another massive bill last night after the president's wife, Michelle Obama, flew in to the country on an exclusive shopping trip. ... Full story

Body Scanner Operator Caught Masturbating at Colorado Airport

DENVER - USA - A full body scanner operator was caught masturbating during a scanning session by airport staff late Tuesday. ... Full story

Why Social Networking Has Been Best Tool for Criminals and Governments

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Once upon a time it used to be quite hard for the government and criminals to get private data from individuals, nowadays the information gleaned from social networking sites is so vast that they have been overwhelmed. ... Full story

Thanks For Nothing Gordon Brown

LONDON - England - As the unelected imposter in chief prepares to leave Downing Street for the last time, the country is bracing itself for the many years of pain and 'austerity' that will be needed to repair itself after thirteen years of hurt and unbearable misery. ... Full story

Lady GaGa to Present Amputated Leg to Lucky Fan

LOS ANGELES - USA - After having her leg spectacularly amputated for art, the pop star Lady GaGa is to present the preserved appendage to one of her fans after they win a bizarre competition, her management said today. ... Full story

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