Michael Jackson is Dead!

One hit too many!

LOS ANGELES – USA – Michael Jackson has died from a cardiac arrest according to insiders from UCLA hospital.

Breaking!

Michael Jackson has died at UCLA hospital.
Looks like there will not be any comeback for Michael Jackson.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do 50 shows,” … “I’m not a big eater – I need to put some weight on”

An industry source said: “It came suddenly, he was pushed into these concerts by these greedy promoters, he was fragile, he was on the edge and he had altered his appearance to such a level that his body gave up on him eventually. He was abused from childhood and may have manifested in abuse in others. He passed away three weeks from the biggest comeback that he never wanted or was capable of doing. Who the hell thought he could even do one concert let alone fifty?”

The ailing star was addicted to Demerol, which has opiate qualities. He died soon after taking a huge dosage that stopped his heart.


pixieelf – b3ta

Promoters for the O2 concerts and Jackson’s assorted hangers-on, publishers as well as his record company hoods were said to be inconsolable today as they realised that Jackson was worth more in death than in life.

Record company bosses and publishing houses all brought out statements and tributes to the fallen star whilst getting ready for the deluge of record sales that will now follow.

Adolf Schmidt-Himmler, CEO, Pony Music Entertainment, said: “We are sad to see the passing of this great artist. We all know what happens to record sales when an artist dies, especially this one, it’s like the sales chart goes up like a goddamn mountain face, we’re talkin’ Everest here. This is when we start bringing out those secret songs which we’ve been holding in the vault for so long. The sales projections for MJ will be so big that tears have just come to my eyes. I’m crying like a little baby. Rest in peace Michael.”

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  • Cecile

    Jacko was a pedo…

  • Darren

    J TURNER IF YOU CAN STILL CONTACT UR SELLER ON EBAY THEN ASK FOR A REFUND, IF NOT TRY EMAIL EBAY BUT NOT LOOK GOOD.

    AEG HAVE SAID IN 6 MONTHS THEY WILL TELL PPL IF THEY GET A REFUND SO LONG WAIT IF U BOUGHT FROM THEM

    LASTMINUTE.COM SAY THEY WILL NOT REFUND

  • Fandango

    Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, in their own different ways, helped young boys masturbate for years!

  • Charlie

    I can imagine what he did to the little boys,(sick) but I read that he had a pet monkey Bubbles I can only imagine what he did with the monkey…(disgusting).

  • Tom

    R.I.P. MJ… you touched a generation….

  • Changeling

    Jacko never recovered after Uri Geller ruined his life by introducing him to Bashir.

    That interview where Jacko admitted that he slept with young boys tarnished his rep.

    If only Uri had never introduced Bashir, Michael would be here now..probably still sleeping with young boys thouh

  • J Turner

    I bought a ticket on ebay for £4,500. I am really upset. How can I get an refund? It was from an independent seller. Ebay are not even answering and neither is the seller!!!!

    Whyyy?!?!?!?!?!?

  • Andy Rake

    Ive heard Famous Grouse are making a special whiskey to commemorate Jackos life. That way he can still come in tots.

    Also all the jockeys at tomorrows race meetings will be wearing black armbands in his memory, because hes ridden more 3 year olds than anyone in living memory.

    Whats the last thing Jacko said?…oooawww…

    And reports that he died of a heart attack are wrong, he was found in a childrens ward having a stroke.

  • Sandy McManus

    Was he related to Jesse Jackson? I have noticed a similarity…

  • Seal Clubber

    Update – Those who bought tickets are to have their tickets exchanged for what is now the world’s most awesome entertainment star. Yes folks, Amy Giveusa Linehouse is to stand-in for the fifty Wacko shows.
    Whinehouse will be supported by The Jackson Four

  • sam phoenix

    It’s ok to be a pedo if your a celebrity, that’s the message the tributes are giving..He made great music but he also molested children if he was a nobody average joe he would be arrested and put in jail instead MJ got away with it karma finally got him tho

  • Seal Clubber

    Let us join in deep commiseration for the executives of O2 who will not be able to hand out freebies to those whom they wish to arse-lick
    For those who invested in Wacko, ‘friend of the chimps’, tickets HA HA

  • Brighton Essex Boy

    At least all the eleven year olds can sleep well

    So what if he’s dead??

    Nothing produced for a decade, nothing of note since the bleaching: rubbish!!

    If someone is not happy with their appearance there are other things to do than bleach it away!!!

    Hope him and Dodi and Diana are laughing at the world from their secluded island; if he is dead I hope Saddam Hussien is violating him like a 12 year old…

    Katie Price you’re next…

  • Roger K

    I’m not surprised in the least. In fact I have to congratulate him for surviving so long with his lifestyle.

  • CAMINI

    THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD THIS AINT HAPPENING THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD IF MICHAEL GOES WE ALL GO !!!NNOOO GOD HELP US NOOOO!!! SOMEONE TELL ME THIS AINT HAPPENING SOMEONE TEL ME THIS AINT TRUE NOOOO MICHAEL IS ALIVE!!! ALL YAOU HATERS GO TO HELL MICHAEL IS ALIVE AND THIS IS BS MAN LOW REPORTING THIS IS BAD VERY BAD MICHAEL IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Herb

    I never know whether to take what the Daily Squib writes seriously but…

    I guess Michael Jackson really is HIStory now…

    R.I.P

  • Gary

    Even though he molested kids he could sing pretty good…

  • Laura

    THIS IS VERY SAD DAY TODAY! RIP MICHAEL YOU WILL LIVE FOR EVER!

  • andy hutton

    he was a freak but he could dance and shit…real sad..i been glued to the tv since he got sent to ucla. there was no pulse, he died at home….this shit is so sad im crying so much please god tell me hes still alive?????

  • T7 HAN

    RIP MJ YOU WERE THE BEST!!!!

  • Annie

    RIP Michael we loved you!!!! I am so sad!!!

  • Toni

    Big fucking news…