benefits
Mass EU Third World Immigration Means Death of UK Welfare State
LONDON - England - The already overcrowded British cities are heaving at the seams with people. Resources are pushed to the limit and yet there will be a further deluge when EU restrictions are lifted in 2013 when some of the poorest EU countries will be given free passes to send their poor unemployed unskilled populations to the UK. ... Full story
Paralympics Proof That Disability Allowance Could Be Cut
LONDON - England - The amazing dexterity and strength of the Paralympians is proof that the government may not need to pay disabled people a penny in benefits anymore say Whitehall insiders. ... Full story
Britain Could Send First Chavs to Mars By 2021
LONDON - England - The British government have taken on the interplanetary challenge of colonising Mars with chavs by the year 2021, Council sources have disclosed. ... Full story
Gordon Brown: Scottish Independence Could Severely Hinder Scots Benefits System
FIFE - Scotland - Gordon Brown has warned that breaking up the United Kingdom would lead to the Scottish losing billions of pounds worth of benefits and welfare which they get from England. ... Full story
UK Family Outcasts After Not Swindling Benefits System For Thousands
SCUNTHORPE - England - Just when you thought things couldn't get any lower in Britain, a family has been discovered living in the country who does not claim thousands of pounds on benefits and state handouts. ... Full story
Think Tank: UK Benefits System Cause of Britain's Ruin
LONDON - England - An independent think tank has released a report detailing how Britain's welfare benefits system which costs the taxpayer trillions of pounds is sucking the country into a Great Depression. ... Full story
Scots Could Lose English Benefits Bonanza if Gain Independence
GLASGOW - Scotland - Millions of Scots will probably lose their benefits from England if the country gains independence, fearful Scots have warned. ... Full story
Benefits Bonanza Means Increase in 3D TV Sales
MACCLESFIELD - England - The Chancellor's 6% increase in benefits payments means that the sales of high tech gadgets and leisure activities will increase thanks to the taxpayer. ... Full story
Rioters Awarded ASBOs and Praised For Excellent Rioting Skills
LONDON - England - The capital's rioters were all awarded ASBO trophies and had their benefits increased yesterday by makeshift courts. They were further praised for their courage for rioting under adverse conditions. ... Full story
Labour's Children Are Revolting
LONDON - England - As the smouldering wreck of the capital city is unveiled by the morning sun, the carnage of the previous nights festivities are uncovered for the whole world to see. ... Full story
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Abraham Lincoln Was Half Black Historians Reveal
WASHINGTON DC - USA - The sixteenth president of the United States of America, Abraham Lincoln has been discovered to have had a black father according to historians and scientists working for the Institute of Historical Science which is linked to Harvard university. ... Full story