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New NHS Ambulances Solve Hospital Beds Problem

LONDON - England - The National Health Service today unveiled its latest solution to overcrowded bedless hospitals in Britain. ... Full story

Scientists: "Why Eating Food is Dangerous"

LONDON - England - Eating food is bad for your health, scientists from the British Food Institute warn. ... Full story

White Americans Outraged by Obama's Healthcare Plans

PENNSYLVANIA - USA - President Barack Obama's plans for a nationwide healthcare system akin to the UK's National Health Service has come under intense negative pressure from a major section of the American population. ... Full story

Daily Squib Staff to Man Swine Flu Hotline

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib has won a contract for staffers to man the controversial Swine Flu Hotline during the Swine Flu epidemic. ... Full story

Masturbation Could Boost Your Intellect

MANCHESTER - England - Being a wanker could make you cleverer in later life and ward off dementia, claim scientists. ... Full story

Exposed: The Food From 'Fat Duck' Restaurant That Poisoned Thousands

BERKSHIRE - England - The Fat Duck restaurant at the centre of a massive food poisoning outbreak has risen to 4,000. We can reveal for the first time the food that may have caused the ebola outbreak. ... Full story

Valentine's Day Heart Transplants All the Rage

LOS ANGELES - USA - Californian heart surgeons are set to work overtime this coming Valentine's Day with a mass of heart transplantation operations. ... Full story

John McCain's Vice President Sarah Palin Learning the Ropes

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Republican VP hopeful Sarah Palin has been briefed by campaign advisers on what is needed to be John McCain's Vice President. ... Full story

Russian Annual Breastfeeding Vodka Marathon Underway

MOSCOW - Russia - The annual Russian Breastfeeding Marathon got off to a 'boinking' start today with the participation of nearly 200 Russian mothers and their babies. ... Full story

New UK Health Plan Urges People to Die Younger

LONDON - England - Health Insurers and professionals in Britain are now urging people to die younger. Because of the poor quality of life in the UK, people are preferring death over life in Britain today. ... Full story

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