Health
Leslie Ash Gets Big Smile on Her Face
LONDON - England - The actress Leslie Ash had a big smile on her face today after being awarded £5 million of taxpayers money from the NHS. ... Full story
Unfit Britons to Lose NHS Care
LONDON - England - Comrade Brown, who as our unelected superhuman super-fit Commander in Chief, brought forth more orders for his five year vision of change plan today. ... Full story
NHS Unveils New Fleet of Ambulances
LONDON - England - The cash-strapped National Health Service today unveiled its latest solution. ... Full story
Mothers Warned as Number of Brain-Damaged (FAS) Babies Doubles
LONDON - England - Experts have warned that the number of children born with Foetal Alcohol Syndrome has doubled in Britain. ... Full story
Cheap Flights for Thousands - A One-Way Ticket to Skin Cancer
MAGALUF - Majorca - Thousands of British holiday makers are jetting off on cheap package holidays and to an early death. ... Full story
Pistachios Can Reduce Your Cholesterol
Last week Scientists said pistachios were bad for you but this week a study says that eating pistachios is the key to a long life. ... Full story
Pregnant Women Denied Alcohol
British women are renowned for being the heaviest drinkers in Europe and vow to fight the alcohol reduction quota whilst pregnant. ... Full story
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Man Blows Brains Out at Britain's Got Talent Show
LIVERPOOL - England - The audience and judges at the Britain's Got Talent show got more than they bargained for on Monday night when a man took out a revolver and shot himself in the head. ... Full story