Intimate TSA Agents May Get Ebola First

Dancing with death

Dancing with death

NEWARK – USA – Intimate body searches at airports across the United States could mean that TSA agents contract the deadly Ebola virus first.

As the cocky TSA agent tells the man to bend over from West Africa and pats his crotch down, a bead of sweat falls onto his gloved hand. With a gestation period of 21 days little does the TSA agent know that when he has an itch in his eye three minutes later, he’s rubbing Ebola virus into his eye.

TSA agents are on the front line, fondling, stroking people’s private parts during invasive searches daily.

“It’s not just the TSA agents who are at risk, they don’t change their gloves after each invasive search, they use the same pair of gloves all day, therefore any viral pathogens present on a gloved hand stay there and are spread from person to person. One person can therefore infect thousands in a day,” Dr. Lucius Trimble, from the Washington Virus Research Institute told MSNBC.


  • m.miller

    Gloves are changed after each pat down. Mandatory.

  • RonBonner

    How about the ETD swabs they rub on people and peoples possessions? You see these swabs laying around, being reused no telling how many times.

    TSA should be tossing these swabs after each use given the real threat that Ebola presents.

  • Carl

    Can’t wait to see these tsa idiots Ebola up.

    • J

      That’s a thoughtless and fucking awful thing to wish on anyone. Shame on you.