LONDON – England – The new NHS league tables for NHS surgeons are now an automatic job recruiting tool for the world’s finest (ahem) news source.
“You may be an NHS surgeon with a scalpel skill level of a rhinoceros, well all is not lost, you can still get a job at the Squib,” our sub sub sub editor, Jules Malcontent revealed today.
The Squib office is all too eager to employ the NHS butter fingered surgeons who are so bad that the NHS allows them to hide their high death rates.
“When I was working as an NHS surgeon, I was bottom of the league table but at the Daily Squib I’m worth something. It doesn’t matter that I can’t write a coherent sentence and cannot even hold a pen or type. Thank you Squib for employing me,” Dr. Ralph Stabber said from his toilet cubicle desk.