I Don’t Want to Breathe: Especially in New York City

new york city

NEW YORK – USA – I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, yeah, but do you want to breathe in New York city? Breathing in the air in the Big Apple can cause you serious deadly health problems.

Who wants to breathe in NYC anyway? That place stinks like a big urinal.

The dangers of New York city don’t just extend to obese people who have trouble breathing walking a few steps let alone being put in a choke hold by some crazed NYPD cop, but also extend to breathing in the acrid putrid smells of the overcrowded city.

One New Yorker, Billie Batts, 48, a businessman from the Bronx tells all.

“Breathing the toxic air in New York city is like sticking your nose in a full toilet bowl after a tramp just ate a curry, but you’re also getting fumes from crack dens, greasy fast food joints, sewer smells, garbage, rats everywhere, body odour from homeless drug addicts and the smell of used condoms and used needles scattered all over the streets and parks. The city they call the Big Apple is more in tune with the Big Turd. You ever been to the toilets in Grand Central station, now that’s a smell, or how about the traffic fumes in the gridlocked streets which fill your lungs with heavy metals and other carcinogens? We all know New Jersey smells too, it’s like breathing in a bag filled with vomit and diarrhoea laced with the ass hole of a skunk. Don’t forget the subway huh, that place smells so bad you need a gas mask just to take a ride, that is if you’re not mugged or get the crap beaten out of you for no reason at all by some homeless schizophrenic nut on crack cocaine.”

  • Proud New Yorker

    I don’t know what city Billy Batts is from but that ain’t the New York I know. Maybe he needs to take a permanent vacation in some third world country to see what real hell smells like.

    • Frankie Carbone

      Go home and get your shine box.