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Middletons' Party Website Introduces New Pancake Making Products

BERKSHIRE - England - The Middletons' party products company is bringing out a new exciting pancake pan and pancake mix product line for having those wonderful pancake parties. ... Full story

The Sun to Launch Royal Page Three Extravaganza

LONDON - England - Rupert Murdoch has been licking his lips all day today at the prospect of launching a royal themed Page Three site linked with the Sun newspaper. ... Full story

The French Invite Duchess of Cambridge to Pose Topless For Bastille Day PICTURE EXCLUSIVE

PARIS - France - Trust the French to have a dig at the British royal family, and with the new topless pictures of Kate Middleton doing the rounds, things are hotting up in the nude royal stakes. PHOTO EXCLUSIVE ONLY ON THE SQUIB! ... Full story

Carmel Antique Dealer: "Clint Eastwood Shot My Chair Up"

CARMEL - USA - An antique dealer in Clint Eastwood's adopted town is furious after a prized wooden chair was shot up and ruined by the actor. ... Full story

Madonna Fires Assistant After Misspelling Obama on Her Back

TEL AVIV - Israel - Madonna has spectacularly fired her assistant who misspelled Obama's name on her back during an impromptu performance in the Israeli city. ... Full story

David Beckham to Have Kidneys and Liver Tattooed

LOS ANGELES - USA - David Beckham is going to have a pioneering tattoo technique completed on some of his internal organs, his agent has disclosed to Hello magazine. ... Full story

Prince Harry Royal Nudist Colony Opens in South of France

COTE D'AZUR - France - Get your tackle out by Royal appointment, or should that be annointment. The Royal family have endorsed Prince Harry's new nudist camp venture and Prince Charles and Camilla are even threatening to undress at the camp themselves. ... Full story

Royals Watch as Poor People Thrown to Wild Dogs

BALMORAL - Scotland - The Royal Family had a delightful day out at Balmoral on Sunday when over two hundred poor people were thrown to the dogs in front of baying crowds of privileged royalty and rich business people. ... Full story

New Clint Eastwood Film to Be About Furniture

EL PASO - USA - Veteran film star and director, Clint Eastwood, is directing a new film about furniture, his agent Larry Goldstein, has revealed. ... Full story

Next Round of Simon Cowell Creations Hits Music Charts This Week

LONDON - England - Not content with polluting the world's entertainment industry with his awful creations, Simon Cowell assaults the music charts week in week out with even more crap. ... Full story

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