VERSAILLES – France – The French have had to undergo many indignities throughout their colourful history, however hiring out the château de Versailles to a bunch of uncouth peasants must really be the final nail in the coffin.
“We need ze money. Hollande has made merde of our économie. C’est une tragédie, yes we know but if seulement someone could get us out of this trou profond, zis is why we have to rent out the magnifique Palais de Versailles. Toute la day we weep at seeing these parasite minor celebrities and their vulgarity, it is an affront to our sensibilité,” Hortense Chevalier, who looks after the palace’s day to day running told Le Monde.
Plans are also afoot to install a fast food kiosk in Versaille’s magnificent hall of mirrors, as well as a gift shop in every room selling tacky faux gold hip hop medals, condoms, lubricant and medallions.
Sex tape model, Kim Kardashian has already requested the royal sleeping quarters have a functioning film studio, so she can stream live on the internet via pay-per-view her latest sex tape effort as she bids to conceive more paparazzi fodder with pop singer West.
In a ravaged economy, this money making exercise is what France needs, however it comes at a terrible cost — dignity.