MOSCOW – Russia – After the Eurovision Song Contest panned the Russian singers with boos and caterwauls, Vladimir Putin knows what he has to do.
Vladimir Putin, was watching the results of the Eurovision Song Contest last night and what he saw confirmed his plans to once and for all overrun Europe with even more incursions.
“I saw some beautiful Russian young ladies last night singing songs that were beaten by a pseudo-Bond themed bearded freak composite. This confirms to me that the EU’s homosexual agenda of total ritualistic New World amalgamation is well in place, and it goes against the biological human race as a whole. If this is allowed to continue, we are all doomed. Therefore, to prevent any further bleed and damage I have prepared a multi-tiered incursion into Belarus, Estonia, Latvia, Finland, Sweden, Lithuania, Moldova, and we will take all of Ukraine of course. We will be on Norway and Germany’s doorstep in no time, as the minor countries are nothing but a distraction. My two Russian beauties, how could the EU troglodytes boo against such beauties, their song full of love, and what man could refuse the beckoning call as they kneel before you with their pert open mouths singing sweet lullabies?”
The Eurovision Song Contest was another egg on Vladimir Putin’s face but he will have the last laugh, prepare for war.
Someone was overheard saying in the background, “Hang on Vlad it’s only a stupid euro song comp” before a gunshot sounded.