Bouncers From Exclusive Club Reprimanded For Unnecessary Brutality

You must be a post-modernist architect, prepare to be beaten within an inch of your life

You must be a post-modernist architect, prepare to be beaten within an inch of your life

LONDON – England – Kensington and Chelsea council officials have been notified of a night club that uses rather brutal methods to deter undesirable clubgoers.

Bouncers from an exclusive West London night club have been reprimanded by council officials for their unnecessary hard edged bouncing style.

The exclusive club called Mathikki, serves cocktails that cost thousands of pounds, but things can get a little hairy if the bouncers don’t like the look of you at the door.

“We have a very exclusive clientèle who attend our premises, therefore if you’re not part of the right bloodline, it’s orf with your head,” Red Mist Harry, one of the bouncers in question told the Kensington Advertiser.

The three offending bouncers, Red Mist Harry, Box Ears Charlie, and Crazy Tooth Willy are notorious in the bouncing profession for not taking any nonsense.

“I saw one chap, he tried to walk in and said he was the owner of Harrods even showing a badge. They took one look at him and flung him in the dustbin, then told him to go back to Egypt. There used to be four bouncers at the door, but last I heard, Lippy Phil is doing a stretch in Sandringham,” a local resident revealed.