J K Rowling Relieved She is Not Secretly Behind Daily Squib Stories

EDINBURGH - Scotland - J K Rowling has revealed that she has not secretly penned any Daily Squib stories and she's bloody relieved about it as well.

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After her own PR people recently rumbled her pseudonym written book because clearly sales were not moving in the right direction, J K Rowling has emphatically denied she is behind anything written in the Daily Squib.

“You muggles really are a bunch of simpletons. Why on earth would I write anything for that awful rag? I only ever wrote stuff for the Daily Prophet! I’ve got a good mind to banish the lot of you to Azkaban. Expelliarmus, and all that,” J K Rowling said from her mansion’s living room whilst swimming knee deep in fifty pound notes.

The Daily Squib editor for our newspaper’s spells section said: “Poor old J K, I actually don’t think she’ll ever get away from the Harry Potter thing. She really needs to go back and start writing some more Potter stuff. It’s the only way forward.”