Kerry Katona Cocaine Day Loan Ad Banned

CHESTER – England – An advertisement for quick cash loans so people can score a few grams of cocaine featuring coke head reality TV star Kerry Katona, has been banned by the industry watchdog, partly for suggesting the money could help to fund a celebrity lifestyle.

Ms Katona, who promoted frozen food retailer Iceland whilst snorting copious amounts of cocaine, talked about her former “cocaine troubles” in the TV ad. She was declared bankrupt in 2008 after sniffing up half of Peru with her fat bloated pig-like nostrils.

The ad for the Cartagena Ad Agency, trading as Coke Lady, drew 43,654 complaints that it was irresponsible because it focused on Ms Katona’s cocaine sniffing problems and encouraged people in similar situations to borrow money at ridiculously high interest rates to buy more cocaine.

The ad featured Katona saying: “We’ve all had money troubles at some point, especially when you can’t pay your dealer. You could see your bank and fill in loads of forms, give your dealer a blowjob for a few grams, nick something and sell it, but there is an easier way to get a loan … So if you need extra cash for a snoot go to http://www.cokelady.co.uk. Fast cash for fast coke.”

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) also challenged whether the advert was misleading and irresponsible because it promoted itself as an alternative to banks while offering an APR in excess of 8,000pc.

Coke Lady said Ms Katona was selected for the ad because she is utterly brainless, deficient of intelligence and is an irresponsible bat-shit crazy moron who puts her kids in danger with her every action.

It said its loans were limited to £300 and were aimed at those experiencing relatively low-level short-term financial difficulties with paying for hard drugs.

Ms Katona featured in the Daily Telegraph’s Money Fame & Fortune series in January, saying she was reformed from her days of profligate spending.

She said: “In a way I was glad I got made bankrupt because it got my dealer off my back but then I..I..got this ad job and I’m in the same old shitty mess again. Sniff, sniff.”