PYONGYANG – North Korea – Dictator Kim Jong Un is so enamoured by the Hollywood beauty Lindsay Lohan that he will do anything for her to come over to his country.
Worried officials in Pyongyang were seen scrambling around trying to calm things down on Friday when Kim had another tantrum.
“He keeps calling Ms Lohan’s agent in Los Angeles but she is too busy to even answer the call. He had two Ministers executed yesterday for suggesting he give it a rest and deal with important North Korean business, like starting a nuclear war or something,” an informant revealed from inside the capital city.
Emissaries for the dictator were even flown to Los Angeles last week to see if they could achieve some kind of deal with Ms Lohan but failed and returned to N. Korea unsuccessful in their mission.
Kim Jong Un wants to also erect a statue to Lindsay Lohan in Kim Il-sung Square, the main place where they have all those spectacular Soviet parades.
“Someone needs to break it to him that Lindsay Lohan only likes certain things, you know like bearded oysters. She certainly is not looking for a sweating obese megalomaniac dictator with a penchant for ordering executions at the drop of a hat,” another insider revealed.