Kate Middleton to Open Strip Bar in London's Soho
LONDON - England - The seedy part of Britain's capital city is about to get even seedier with the opening of Kate Middleton's own brand of strip bars.
"She'll first come around with a pint glass, and everyone has to put a pound in there so they can see her royal goods in the flesh and not just all over the internet," Kate's manager, Artudo Weiss, told the Sun newspaper.
Royal protection officers have also been drafted in to force punters to buy cheap £7.50 Aldi champagne bottles for £400 each before they leave the premises or get a thorough kicking in a dark alleyway.
The Duchess of Cambridge has been limbering up for the role by stripping in full view of the public and cameras whilst on another South of France holiday.
Her manager added: "The only thing missing in the South of France holiday snaps is a pole. She shows everything, and to say the pics are detailed is an understatement. I'm sure a few gynaecologists would be able to conduct a full detailed analysis from those pics and this is why we decided the best course for her was to open the strip bar in Soho."
Taxpayers were very happy at the decision, and there were street parties held the length and breadth of Britain at the news.