Next Round of Simon Cowell Creations Hits Music Charts This Week

LONDON - England - Not content with polluting the world's entertainment industry with his awful creations, Simon Cowell assaults the music charts week in week out with even more crap.

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“It’s the same old shit for you week in week out for the next thirty or forty years,” pop svengali Cowell has told a Music Biz event honouring his fifteen years of audio assault on music.

The Music Biz has been reduced to X-Factor people polluting the airwaves at all times of the day, and just when you think it is all over, more come in an endless stream of banal un-musical murder violating every pore in your being.

“It is not bad enough that these people have little or no talent, or that they are simply doing a mediocre karaoke act, it is the fact that these people have not one iota of originality, creative spirit or rock star verve. They should be strung out on heroin in a corner with blood coming out of their noses strumming on a f*cking guitar. Now that is art. That is music. That is pure creativity. Not some sterile corporate autotuned vocoder monkey pawn shameful regurgitated detritous,” a destitute musician told Melody Maker magazine.