Snooki Has Situation On Her Hands

Snooki's newborn baby (inset: Snooki)

NEW JERSEY – USA – Reality starlet, Snooki has given birth to a baby boy live on the Jersey Shore TV show.

Snooki was eating some spaghetti during the show when she started to scream loudly for no apparent reason. Usually that is seen as normal behaviour for her but this time she started to crouch down on a piece of cheap looking furniture and her waters broke over her plate of spaghetti much to the dismay of her fellow house mates and the watching audience.

“Snooki! I thought she was having an orgasm, I never knew my Italian special sauce was that good. Her eyes rolled back in their sockets and she started buckling like that dude in the movie, Alien. She looked like she was straining for a triple size meatball and makin’ those fartin’ noises. We thought, Oh mio Dio, Snooks, are you ok? Bitch was screaming and for a second I saw her fake tan go green coloured. Man it was scary,” one of her housemates, Pauly recalled.

It was only when Snooki released her amniotic fluid over the table soaking the salad, garlic bread and spaghetti that the cameras zoomed into the scene for more detailed shots. The Situation, who was in the dining room at the time, took a piece of soaked garlic bread with amniotic chunks on it, licked his lips then ate it up burping afterwards. There were cheers from the crew as Snooki’s new baby popped its head out of her snook hole and said “Ehhhh!” just like the Fonz.

Studio execs gave Snooki a $40,000 bonus for her live birth show.

“This was reality TV like never before. These Italian guidos want to show everything, how they f*ck, how they eat, how they sh*t, and now how they give birth. This is no shame TV for people who need counselling after watching a friggin episode,” the show’s director Gino Van Tutti told Entertainment Weekly.

Ratings for the Snooki birth show went through the roof and the explicit birth scene is even used in some maternity units as an instructional video on how not to conduct a birth.

  • toni

    God I love Snooki. I love Snooki sooooooooooooo much!! GO SNOOKI!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Jayney

    Aww he looks so cute. I'm so happy for Snooki you go gurlll!