Remake of a Remake of a Remake Gets Sixth Remake in 3D

LOS ANGELES – USA – Hollywood script writers have been working overtime churning out even more remakes than usual as of late according to industry insiders.

Pick any film you may have watched in the 70s and 80s and chances are that the recent Hollywood release is a remake of the same film, except now you will have some nameless, faceless, actor embellishing it with their wooden charms. Scripts are stripped down to their basic shells and all goodness from previous films are ejected.

“You can’t have a remake without some casting couch new flavour of the month plastic actor or actress stumbling across the screen jumping all over the place. Each of the many characters is disconnected from the audience; you don’t care what happens to a single one of them. The roles could just have easily been filled with robots or androids. Maybe stick some CGI in there, with all action scenes rendered on green screen, slap in some 3D effects and your remake of a remake of a remake is ready to be forced in front of cinema audiences who now, unfortunately, do not know any better,” Film critic, Freddy Luger, told Hollywood Week magazine.

Is it no wonder that the internet is filled to the brim with sites showing these so-called Hollywood films for free. These films are such throw-away products that they are not even worth paying to go and see. You would have to be a very sad character to actually go to a cinema and pay some of your hard-earned cash to fund these monstrosities.

“I would rather have my eyes shaved with a rusty razor then go and see any movies that come from Hollywood these days. Like occasionally, I’ll fast forward through one of the movies for free on the internet to see how bad it is. Can you imagine the shame one would feel if they admitted that they had actually parted with money to see a new release let alone helped to fund even more of that crap? I don’t think I could look into anyone’s eyes afterwards,” Bill Dean, an internet user told Yahoo news.