Charlie Sheen Tries to Snort Diner's Dandruff

Charlie Sheen photographed by a paparazzi just before he attacked the man's head

LOS ANGELES – USA – Emergency services were today called out to Henry's Deli in Beverly Hills after actor Charlie Sheen tried to snort a man's dandruff from his head.


Patron’s of Henry’s Deli desperately tried to assist the man after the vicious attack on his toupee.

They immediately called 911 and a dispatch of seventeen police cars arrived in less than three minutes.

“The Police had to literally drag Mr Sheen off the 78-year-old’s head. Poor old bastard was just sitting there eating his mush, and I saw Charlie Sheen jump on the critter like he was a wild animal or something and start snorting his fuckin’ head,” one of the owners of the world famous deli, Ernie Azoff, told the LA Times.

“It’s a good thing I fought in the war. This guy came at me like a Jap at Iwo Jima. He had wild eyes and he was snorting like some kind of greedy piggy. I was eating my mashed potato which I come in here to eat everyday because I ain’t got no teeth, I just bought this toupee yesterday too, damn it,” Sam Woodie, the victim of the whole sorry affair revealed.

Mr Sheen was taken to a secure facility and will have to be sedated with tranquilisers until he is capable of being interviewed by police investigators later today, the LAPD has revealed.

  • Rakhi

    This is way funnier than the oNION. I enjoy reading these articles more. Please never stop what you're doing. Love it.

  • the worst thing is. he's highly likely to do that.