Confused Feminist Celebrity Shows Off T*ts

LOS ANGELES – USA – An actress who pedals her sexual attractiveness at every turn to further her career is also a staunch feminist, according to reports from news media.

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“I use my female body and looks to get ahead in the celebrity and acting world. If I was an ugly female, fat and podgy I would not be looked at, so for that I am glad, but I’m still a feminist,” Emma Watson revealed to Vanity Fair magazine.

So why has Ms Watson shown off her delightful mammaries in an exclusive titillating photo shoot?

“People like tits. I showed mine off because men and some women like to look at my beautiful body and it is aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Feminists don’t realise that the female body when in its prime is a powerful weapon and tool for women to get ahead and has been used for centuries for that very purpose. There is no leading actress today or in the past who has not slept with the right person to get the job. Men are easily controlled by the female body, and we as women have been taking advantage of that fact. It’s all biological. Men are attracted to the pleasing shape of the female body, and this biological attraction is utilised by women to get what they want. As for feminism, as a fickle celebrity, I was enraptured by the Soviet spirit of the Obama presidency and its peddling of feminism, which has sadly passed. Feminism is a soviet communistic construct created primarily by men so that there could be an increase in taxpayers and workers. Without housewives languishing in their homes all day, the work force, and taxpayers doubled over night. This is what feminism really is.”

When asked about the efficacy of feminism within society, the celebrity feminist answered in a forthright manner.

“Feminism within modern society has created many divergent outcomes. For example, today women are more stressed, they lose their hair earlier, they are getting more breast cancer, they are now dying earlier, and feminists have contributed to the destruction of the traditional family. Socialists and communists who created feminism, do not want functioning families to exist, primarily because it strengthens society and conservative values. and this is a threat to the socialist state. They would much prefer angry women postulating about their feminist virtues and socialistic prowess, as good workers and taxpayers who do not care to have a family yet may still breed future taxpayer bastards by the dozen different males they briefly use as sperm donors, or if you are true feminist, breed only a female through IVF.”

Ms. Watson was also asked about feminist values regarding men opening doors for them, as well as politically correct niceties.

“Well we all know that political correctness is another term for censorship. By limiting the language allowed to be used by people, it is a form of control, it is also a form of censorship that limits human freedom and is the mainstay of socialism. Men open doors for me all the time, as a feminist, I like the power that I get as a female to have doors opened for me, and feminists may say this is wrong however I think this is the ultimate in feministic control over men. Some feminists do not appreciate a man opening the door for them and will shout down the male in question. These feminists are the angry man-hating ones who can either never get fucked because they are too ugly, or are the horrible ones, users and maladjusted schizoids with serious mental issues. I myself fall under the adored feminist mark, where I use my beauty to get what I want at every turn without exception, yet still am able to read feminist literature and understand it.”

The feminist celebrity was asked how many feminist books she had read.

“I like to read as many feminist articles and books as possible to indoctrinate my mind with clever pseudo political feminist phrases I can use in conversations to impress the fellow socialists I hang out with, or to put down impertinent males who do not pass the soviet feminist tests we give every day. Feminism, much like Communism, is a religion.”

Asked about the difference between feminism and lesbianism, the actress reacted quite abruptly.

“Feminism is a form of homosexuality, because it indoctrinates women into the theories of self on self love. Feminism in effect rejects the male patriarchy, it rejects marriage, coupling and it rejects love between the natural male and female. To be on the extreme side of feminism is therefore to reject all males and embrace only females. This is lesbianism in political form, and eventually leads to lesbianism in sexual physical form. Women are natural lesbians, and to enjoy the gentle caress of a woman is implicit to feminism and true sisterhood.”