New Irish Robin Hood Gladiator Movie Takes Box Office by Storm

"Screw Maid Marion where's my frickin' mega meal and fries?"

LOS ANGELES – USA – The 50th remake of the famous Robin Hood franchise has been touted as a great success by film studio accountants after bumper sales at the box office.

“This time we’re taking money from the poor cinema audiences and giving it to the rich studio execs, a rich fat Aussie meathead and an even richer English director. Robin Hood has a noticeable paunch and speaks in the most ridiculous fake Irish accent you will ever hear. After watching this turkey, you’ll think that Kevin Costner is a genius on a par with Leonardo Da Vinci,” Arthur Finklestein, a Hollywood movie critic told Variety.

Cinema-goers were treated to the sight of the fat old Australian Robin Hood prancing around the forest shouting out “My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the McDonalds, General of the Burger King, loyal servant to the true KFC bucket, Colonel Sanders. Father to a murdered bun, husband to a murdered chicken leg. And I will have my vengeance, in this Drive-In or the next,” in a very strange faux Irish accent.

Some of the audiences were rather annoyed and confused when exiting the cinemas yesterday.

“I want my f*cking money back. Robin Hood robbed me. Where’s the f*cking manager I want my money back right now,” one of the mugged cinema-goers said after watching the film.

  • MooCow

    His accent wobbles, but it’s a brave stab. He does NOT look fat. The real crime is the storyline…

  • McCloud

    Robin Hood really was Irish. He looked like a leprechaun and his real name was Paddy Hood. Sherwood forest was actually in County Derry. Its all true I tells ya…