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Britney Spears Mimes in the Shower as Well as Stage

LOS ANGELES - USA - Miming pop star, Britney Spears, mimes in the shower, as well as the stage, say her household staff.

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Britney Spears is so bad at singing that she has installed state of the art miming machinery in her Hollywood shower rooms so she can lip-sync to her hit songs which she never sang in the first place, members of her household maintenance staff have told US Gossip site TMZ.

“Not only does she mime on stage whilst performing to idiots who pay huge amounts of cash to her, but she is such a bad singer with no talent whatsoever, that she has now installed a state-of-the-art Autotune microphone system in her shower so when she bleats her awful out of tune voice in the shower, it just about sounds passable and in tune,” the source said.

Britney Spears who has modelled her career on lip-syncing, usually sells out concert venues with idiots who come to watch her mime to autotuned vocals.

Conchita Marin, one of the pop star’s staff told of how Britney spent $140,000 on the shower singing machine: “She brought in audio experts to install the machines that would make her sing in the shower without breaking the windows. Before, when she sang in the shower we would have to wear earplugs walking around the house, now it sounds barely passable after her processed vocals are put through the machines.”

“It’s like people want to pay huge amounts of money to see this fat crazy faker on stage miming to terrible music and jumping around on stage like a sweaty bloated marshmallow. I’d rather shave my eyeballs with rusty razors and drill bits into my ears then attend one of her concerts,” Britney’s long suffering dad told CNN yesterday.

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4 COMMENTS

  1. Is six of one, half dozen of the other. Firsty, she never trained as a singer, but as a dancer (at which se is increadible, and taught a whole generation).
    Secondly, with the amount of movement she does, even Celine Dion would have problems staying in tune. Try just talking normally while you’re jogging.
    Of course thats the way the Yanks like their stars: first the raise them to ridiculous impossible hights, and then enjoy ripping them down. Ever wondered why in every american action movie so many expensive cars, works of art, and other lovely things get unnecessarily destroyed? It’s all part of the colonial lack of culture complex they have. Jesus, they’ve even invented american english. You’re a colony assholes, have you ever heard the australians say they speak Australian

  2. First of all i wanna say FIRE YOUR STAFF THE SUCK LIKE HELL! Their obviously a bunch of gold diggers with no heart! She did sing them you twats! They were enhanced like every other lip synching star in the world! THERE ARE MORE STARS WHO LIP SYNC AND YOU DON’T GIVE A DAMN! She does have talent! The thing about the windows is 99.0% bullcrap! And if they had to wear earplugs then WHY DIDN’T THEY FUCKING FIND A NEW JOB INSTEAD OF BEING TOTAL RETARDS? Because they were too busy milking her cash! The video is fake, fake FFFFAAAKKKEEEE! And Britney’s dad wouldn’t say that because he supports her 100%

    SO BASICALLY GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT AND WRITE SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT HER! Like how even after her major breakdown she was able to pull herself up and regain control over her life! Her amazing

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