London's jewel thieves increasing their bank account balances with the aid of makeup artists
LONDON – England – Britain’s entertainment business has been practically paralysed this week after the loss of all of its professional makeup artists and prosthetic experts.
According to panicking theatre and film industry bosses there has been a serious exodus of professional makeup artists from all their productions.
Speaking from the Old Vic in London’s Theatreland, Donald Mancuso, the director of the award winning play “Luvvieland – The Musical’ said: “This is the worst we have ever seen it. All of the country’s makeup artists are now employed by bank robbers and criminals. We just can’t match their pay, plus they get perks as well — they can get a percentage of the proceeds of each robbery session. Our actors and actresses have had to put on their own makeup and even prosthetics. It has been hell!”
The current troubles do not solely extend to Britain’s theatres. Television studios have also reported a massive shortage of makeup artists and some TV shows have even had to be cancelled until replacements are found.
“Here on the ‘Doctor Who’ set we’ve had to dig into the BBC’s props from the seventies because we don’t have any makeup artists anymore. It hasn’t been that bad because we discovered a few Daleks in the vault last night, we’ll just write them into the script later,” said one of the production crew on the set.
Another fuming director of the sellout ‘Notre Dame’ theatrical production playing in Nothing Hill was fuming: “You can’t have a hunchback without a hump or makeup. This is ridiculous! We have had to close down the production until we get more makeup artists.”
The lucrative perks of servicing the high-end criminals and jewel thieves may ensure the British entertainment business is short of makeup artists for some time.