Jade Goody Has Operation to Remove Publicist

'Smells like ...'

LONDON – England – Celebrity reality show star, Jade Goody, has had a surgical operation to remove a publicist from her bowel in an effort to relieve the headlines, photoshoots, tv interviews, exclusives and sensationalist photographs.

The 27-year-old Big Brother star left the Royal Sun Mirror Hospital in Wapping, East London, in a wheelchair and was put into a waiting
ambulance before being driven away.

According to Sky news, the operation to remove the publicist from her orifice was not an easy surgical process.

“The operation to remove Jade Goody’s publicist took all of seven hours and required a team of twelve surgeons. The publicist was lodged firmly in her bowel area and we think we got most of him out but there may be some residual headlines and sensational money making headlines still left. I hope for our sake we will all be given some rest from this awful publicist and his grotesque exploitative greed,” Chief surgeon for the Royal Sun Mirror Hospital in Wapping told reporters.

No one can be sure if the publicist was completely removed from Jade’s bowel, but as our reporter walked past the office earlier, a double-decker bus passed by with a huge Jade Goody advert on the side informing everyone that she is very ill and is suffering terribly.

Now all we need is a self gratifying smarmy interview from leech, Piers Moron, to add to the smell of effluent hanging over the whole sorry affair.

  • Rickie

    She’s just a piece of low-life. They say you get what you deserve in this life…well, she’s got it!

  • Steve

    Any person losing their life to cancer is a sad loss, especially someone so young. However, Clifford pulling the strings, placing the stories in the papers about Jade and any of the other celebrities on his books is nothing more than product placement in my eyes.

    How many more times are we going to see a singing judge/ record company exec coming out of a strip club with some tart on his arm pretending to be straight? This just keeps both the club and the judge in the public eye (at a price, cheques payable to M Clifford) plus of course if the red tops are being fed these pieces they are not going to report that perhaps the judge is infact gay.

  • Tony

    I think we will all breathe a sigh of relief once this greedy woman is gone…I’m sure the circus and vultures will still exploit her name in death and we will still have to put up seeing her ugly face everywhere for many years to come…if only they could just erase her completely..I’m willing to have a lobotomy to get away from her name everywhere.

  • Kevin Green

    seeing Jade being paraded around on her hospital wheelchair left a bad taste in my mouth. I used to support her and Clifford but I think it should have been stopped along time ago.

  • dbg

    God blss u Jade we all luv u 2 bits!!!!! U shuld b gven a state funerel 4 ur brayvery!!! Im pregnent n wil name my baby girl Jade whn shes born in Aprill. We wil nevah forgt u evah my luv keep fiting u can beat da cancer11

  • Kris g

    I have heard Jade wants to be buried with her favourite begging bowl ……..

  • Sarah

    Lynda the poster below says she wants the money when she has cancer. There’s more to life than money Lynda why don’t you enjoy your life and live your lst days with dignity and not like some garish show. There is nothing good about begging for money++++no bravery there but cowardice.

  • Joel Keneally

    The media circus makes me sick……how about some dignity? Max Clifford is a parasite … hope he sleeps well at night thinking about his bank balance. My thoughts are with the millions who are suffering the Big C without the circus-greed-festival!!!!!!

  • Prabal

    Is this supposed to be funny? It is pathetic and so are you….

  • Lynda Williams

    Cute…..Funny…..A quirky diversion in a sad situation.

    I too have been obsessed with Jade’s story. As for my own cancerous bodys” sake. I really hope that death is not as painful as has been written. I care what happens to Jade; wish her well on this Stephen King’s way of making money out of a macabre adventure. Since Max has been extracted from Jade, can I have him; I could sure use the dosh…Hang in there Jade…………