JK Rowling Donates £1million to Ministry of Labour’s Undersecretary Dolores Umbridge

"Thank you for your money JK Rowling"

LONDON – England – Out of touch fantasist and deluded author, JK Rowling, has donated a large sum of money to the Ministry of Nu-Labour headed by unelected taxation master Lord Gordomort.

JK Rowling, a muggle authoress, has thrown away some of her money and endorsed the most putrid of Ministries ever created — the Ministry of Nu-Labour.

Special taxation and examination rule maker, undersecretary Dolores Umbridge, was on hand to collect the cheque from the ailing fantasist living in cloud-cuckoo-land, JK Rowling.

“She’s given a million pounds to the Ministry of Nu-Labour! A ministry which has lined its own pockets with cronyism, sleaze, scandal and pure lies. They are the most incompetent purveyors of gross taxation, surveillance, waste, greed and hypocrisy we have ever seen. They claim to help the little man, the single parent and the poor. Yeah, by taxing them out of existence and taking away their homes and hospitals and ruining their lives. That Lord Gordomort has got a lot to answer for I tell you and here is JK Rowling endorsing him? I’ve just gone and burnt all her books. I hope she rots in hell, horrible traitor that she is,” Amy Lewis, 8, a previous JK Rowling fan told the Daily Prophet.

Lord Gordomort was very happy to receive the million pounds from the stupid and deluded JK Rowling. He is now going to use the money she gave him to cause more havoc by increasing surveillance even more on citizens and for taxing more poor people into the ground.

“Soon no one will be able to afford any food to eat or feed their children. JK Rowling can eat with her £600 million, but what about everyone else? Lord Gordomort, who Rowling has endorsed, is an evil Stalinist beast who is determined to punish every person in the land with his wasteful, over-taxing bureaucratic useless laws and his cutting down of all freedoms. He must be stopped or we are all finished,” a distraught Gryffindor student, Harry Potter told the Daily Prophet.

Indeed, this whole episode has been a very sad chapter and the Daily Squib offices worldwide have been party to many JK Rowling book burning sessions after hearing of her terrible betrayal.

“We’ve had muggles and wizards alike all turning up to burn JK Rowling’s Harry Potter books all of today. The queue is going round the block of children with the books in their satchels throwing them into the fire in disgust. We’ve got some very distraught children and parents here and they’re all crying their eyes out at the most profound betrayal by this woman, JK Rowling. If you read this, hope you’re happy with yourself. You’ve surrendered to Lord Gordomort and his vicious Ministry of Nu-Labour cronies,” Victoria Frobisher, another disgusted Gryffindor student, told the Daily Prophet newspaper.

  • JK Malfoy

    All my friends and family have now got rid of all our JK Rowling books and films.

  • Marcus B

    Bribery should be illegal by law. As always one rule for people like her and one rule for the rest of us.

    slime bags

  • Adam Bruce

    I had pre-ordered JK Rowling’s limited edition book which is going to be released in Christmas. I was going to pay £50 for the book but have now cancelled the order after hearing of her donation to the Labour party. You have betrayed all your fans!

  • Snape

    she’s gone over to the dark side…

    while she drives in her Rolls Royce the rest of us are living in fear of being stabbed in the streets daily, overtaxed and priced out of food fuel or heating. Thanks to Labour our country is worse off than it ever has been. Thanks to JK Rowling she is supporting a government who are killing people evry day…

  • Anne

    I’ll never buy one of her books ever again or watch any of the Harry Potter films ever again…they’ve lost my business and many others…

  • Alana

    If JK Rowling wants to help single mohters she should give to the direct charity.
    This is an obvious bribe to Labour so she gets a peearage.
    Arise Dame Rowling, makes me sick to the stomach that she will get away with this payment scot free.

  • Single mother from Preston

    I’m a single mother with two children and have seen what this government does to people like me. Taxed and punished!!!

    We don’t have enough to pay for food or clothes and I had to save for weeks to buy the Harry Potter books and dvd’s for my kids. Well, hope she’s happy because we’ve thrown them in the bin.

    JK Rowling your a disgrace!

  • sadsadsad

    She probably doesn’t even pay tax because Labour lets the big fish off and yet taxes the rest of us to infinity!
    Wake up and smell the coffee how about a dose of reality for a change

  • Overtaxed and tired

    It would be nice if J K Rowling polished up her broomstick and flew off into obscurity, along with Nu Labour.Then perhaps the reality of Things can only get better,might
    materialise!

  • Julie Gordon

    Our family is now boycotting all JK Rowling books and films. We’re also telling all our friends and anyone else with any sense about this. She’s made her money already we know but giving £1million to the Labour party is the last straw. They’ve done nothing for poor families or single parents who the hell is she kidding?!?!?!?!?

  • Ambrose

    £1million add 1 Labour party= 1 peerage

    do the maths

  • June Tully

    She is the best friend of Sarah Brown so I can see why she would help out the Brown’s with a £1 million gift.

    There’s no need for the nasty comments.

  • Trish

    She makes me sick to my stomach, another champagne socialist!!! She obviously doesnt realise what the real world is like where we McBroon’s stealth taxes are killing us. Never going to buy anoother one of your books JK and my family have thrown away all of your films and books

  • Jon

    ..soon to be Lady JK Rowling after her Labour contribution (bribe)

  • Eva

    Too right! I will never buy another J.K. Rowling book again. What a silly and simple-minded woman!