Is Emphysema the new Anorexia?

Amy smokes crack

LONDON – England – The fashion and music world has found a new disease, no not Amy Winehouse — Emphysema.

London’s ‘it’ circles are teeming with oxygen masks as the new emphysema fashion craze is sweeping though the cool and the hip.

The new craze is causing mayhem amongst the daughters of rock celebrities like Bob Geldof and Sting and it’s all thanks to Amy Winehouse, 24, who has emphysema from smoking crack rocks all day long.

Pete Doherty’s Crack

“I’ve seen Peaches and Pixie smoking crack like it was going out of fashion. Sting’s daughter, Coco, who now hangs out with Pete Doherty, smokes so much crack that she’s lost her voice temporarily. They say it’s the new fashion and they want to get emphysema too just like Amy,” DJ Jack Curran who regularly spins for the stars in Camden’s Monarch pub told Melody Maker magazine.

For the last few years anorexia was the big thing, especially in the fashion world where size zero was all the rage. Now emphysema and walking around with an oxygen tank is the current craze of choice with the party set of Camden and Primrose Hill. Kate Moss and Sadie Frost have already had oxygen tanks delivered to their homes, and Kate Moss is often seen sporting hers whilst driving her daughter to school.

‘Sema like Amy

Last week one of Bob Geldof’s daughters was seen at Claridge’s with an oxygen tank and mask firmly in tow. She was spied downing large vodkas and even attempting to smoke while the oxygen mask was still over her face. The photo event was celebrated in all media sources with full page spreads thus encrusting her jaunt into celebrity history.

Emphysema is an irreversible degenerative condition, so once you get it you’ve got it for life. Smoke from crack cocaine is particularly harsh on the lungs and will deteriorate the body faster than other products like tobacco.

“Crack is the drug of choice for these celebrities because it will speed up the onset of the degenerative lung disease faster than smoking normal cigarettes,” Angie Dickinson, a reporter for the BBC 5 music programme ‘Munters’ featuring pop celebrity Lilly Allen, said.

  • DionneStein35

    The Anorexia Ward is the easiest place to pick up girls.

  • Suzanne Barton

    anything to sell more records now that Amy has emphysema she’s started a new trend…what’s next?

  • Anne G.

    Society really has a problem if they shun sickness and death on one side and use things like that for cheap PR stunts on the other side. Yep, listen to that Michael Jackson, Pete Doherty and whoever else. These kind of stunts just show that people are still immature with dealing seriuos matters.